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How To! | Let Go of ADHD Shame

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Slate Podcasts

News, Business, Society & Culture

41.1K Ratings

🗓️ 5 August 2025

⏱️ 47 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Jessi navigates life with ADHD using a complex web of coping strategies. She used to strive for absolute perfection, but feels overwhelming guilt when she forgets something or loses focus at work or at home. On this episode, How To! co-host Carvell Wallace introduces Jessi to Dr. Sarah Wheeler, an educational psychologist who specializes in ADHD. Dr. Wheeler shares her own experience with ADHD and helps Jessi chart a sustainable path forward to self-acceptance, minus the anxiety and shame. Dr. Wheeler’s Resources and Recommendations Sarah’s ADHD story Sarah’s Substack and podcast More about Sarah and her work Joan Wilder’s site Help for Women with ADHD Salif Muhamane’s Ted Talk, “ADHD Sucks, But Not Really” Kate Weber’s Women & ADHD podcast You’ve Always Been This Way: “Hello, I’m New Here,” by McSweeney’s columnist Taylor Harris Check out: How To Navigate Adult Autism and our discussion of ADHD and organizing in How To Do Housework (and Not Hate It) How can How To! help you?? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen. The show is produced by Rosemary Belson, with Kevin Bendis and Sophie Summergrad. Our technical director is Merritt Jacob and our supervising producer is Joel Meyer. Get more of How To! with Slate Plus! Join for exclusive bonus episodes of How To! and ad-free listening on all your favorite Slate podcasts. Subscribe from the How To! show page on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. Or, visit slate.com/howtoplus for access wherever you listen. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hello podcast fans, I'm Bradley Simpson. When I think about the stories that stayed with me,

0:04.6

one that immediately comes to mind, is Ratatooie. A talented route who just wants to cook, and

0:09.4

honestly, I was glued to my screen straight away. And now I'm hooked on FX's The Bear on Disney Plus.

0:14.9

I love everything about it. I love the styling, the tension, the drama. It's the best thing I've

0:19.1

watched in ages. Only the greatest stories stay with you for a lifetime, and honestly, the drama. It's the best thing I've watched in ages. Only the greatest

0:21.0

stories stay with you for a lifetime. And honestly, it's true. So, what will be your next

0:25.5

great story on Disney Plus? Copyright 2025 Disney and its related entities. 18 plus, subscription required.

0:31.0

I recently heard Amy Poehler say that either you're annoying or boring. You have to pick one.

0:37.2

And I fully think I fall into the annoying camp rather than the boring.

0:44.7

Welcome to how to where we welcome you no matter which camp you fall into.

0:49.1

You know, each week on the show, we talk with a listener about something they're struggling to navigate.

0:53.6

And we bring in an

0:54.5

expert with personal experience to give them guidance. I'm Carveau Wallace. And Amy Polar aside,

1:01.4

if we were to turn back the clock to a young Jesse 30 years ago, I don't think we'd find a kid

1:06.0

who was annoying, excited, maybe, excellent student, absolutely, enthusiastic, for sure. It's funny because these are the traits we'd all say we'd want to see in our kids. But for Jesse, it felt like she might be too much.

1:22.5

I was just a really, like, passionate kid.

1:32.2

And in fourth grade, I just have such a visceral memory of trying out for the school play and just, like, closing my eyes and singing this solo so passionately and opening my

1:38.0

eyes.

1:38.2

And I had a teacher who was laughing at me.

1:42.4

And that was, like, my experience throughout my childhood was just, you're just so

1:47.5

enthusiastic. Everything is too much, you know, too loud, too aggressive about your ideas, interrupting people.

1:56.8

Feeling okay about yourself in grade school is hard enough. And it's especially hard when everyone around you is always telling you to tone it down.

...

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