How To Leave the Church When Your Dad's the Pastor
How To! with Mike Pesca
Peach Fish Projects
4.3 • 2K Ratings
🗓️ 9 February 2021
⏱️ 27 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Chris's childhood was defined by the Pentecostal church, where his father is a minister and his siblings are following the same path. But when Chris went to college, his views on the church changed, and now at age 23, he no longer identifies as religious. That's caused a major rift with his parents, and Chris can't stand the tension anymore. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Patricia Lockwood, a poet and writer who chronicled her own experience leaving the church in her memoir Priestdaddy. Raised in a strict Catholic family with a father for a priest (thanks to a rare loophole), Patricia thought she was done with religion by the time she was in her early 30s. But when an unexpected financial crisis prompted her and her husband to move back in with her parents, Patricia learned a new way to bridge the gap between them. Reflecting on your shared values, Patricia says, is key to connecting with your parents, even if you're still leaving their religion behind.
If you liked this episode, check out "How To Talk Politics Without Wrecking Relationships."
Do you have a seemingly impossible problem? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Hi everyone, I'm Susie Weiss, and I've noticed there's just simply not enough podcasts in the world. So I'm launching my own. Let's go. Let's go, baby. Second Thought is a weekly show about pop culture. The stuff everyone's been binging, arguing about, obsessing over. Here's the thing about heated rivalry. I mean, even the most devoted swifties, I think we can agree, not our best work. We'll be hosting thoughtful conversations with culture's most important figures. Talk about genius. |
| 0:22.6 | Talk about generational talent. |
| 0:23.7 | Coming to headphones near you on |
| 0:25.0 | April 17th with a first guest you won't want to miss. Available wherever you get your podcasts. |
| 0:30.7 | My husband and I, you know, experienced like a series of life upheavals and had to move back in |
| 0:36.6 | with my parents into their Catholic |
| 0:38.4 | rectory. But I could not continue to be a Catholic as an adult. That was not the correct |
| 0:43.8 | path for me. And so you kind of went, went the other way. To hell? Yeah. I did. You said it. I didn't. |
| 0:50.7 | I went to hell. Welcome to how to. |
| 0:55.0 | I'm David Epstein. |
| 0:57.0 | You know that old saying never discuss politics or religion in polite company? |
| 1:02.0 | Well, we actually did an entire episode on how to talk politics without wrecking relationships. |
| 1:07.0 | And that's tough. |
| 1:08.0 | But arguing about your vision of the country with family, that's small potatoes compared to disagreeing about your vision of the universe. And talking religion can be really tricky when the beliefs you grew up with suddenly no longer fit. For our listener this week, religion has always been at the core of his identity, until he decided it wasn't. |
| 1:28.8 | Hi, my name is Chris, |
| 1:35.4 | and I'm from Canada. Chris is 23 and works as a marketer, and he's also, well, the son of a preacher man. My father's a minister, and both of my siblings have actually gone on to become |
| 1:40.8 | ministers themselves, and I am the only one of them who has decided to leave my |
| 1:46.7 | parents' religion. Chris's family is Pentecostal, an evangelical denomination probably best |
| 1:52.0 | known for speaking in tongues. And given his father's job, the family would move every few years. |
| 1:57.5 | And while the parish would change, the church was always there right next door, an island of |
| 2:02.3 | familiarity. People like to say, as a pastor's kid, you slept underneath the church abuse, |
| 2:07.6 | right? Everyone I knew, everything I did sort of revolved around church. At the time, what was your |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Peach Fish Projects, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Peach Fish Projects and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.