This is NPR's Life Kit. I'm Shireen Marisol Miraji.

When I meet people for the first time and introduce myself so often, one of the first questions I get asked is...

Where are you from? Where are you from?

I was born and raised in California.

But your name, it's so unique. What's your background?

Well, my mom's Puerto Rican and my dad's Iranian.

Wow, what an interesting combination of cultures.

And next comes the question I dread most.

Oh my God, please do not ask me this question. Please don't do it. Please don't ask me.

Don't ask me. Don't go there.

Do you speak Spanish?

Do you speak Farsi?

So my Persian or Farsi is basically non-existent and I don't speak Spanish fluently.

At this point, I'm totally flushed. I'm embarrassed. I'm dreading having to explain for the thousandth time

why I don't speak my heritage languages as well as I wish I could or, you know, as well as all these people assume I should.

And I feel this burning heat of shame all over my body.

And the thing is, I know I'm not alone. I have plenty of company from other heritage language learners.

Spanish heritage language learners being the largest group in the United States.

We feel very self-conscious with other Latinos because we don't speak Spanish as well.

Korean was actually my first language even before English and I had lost it.

Many of my uncles would call me the Khareji which means the foreigner in Persian.

When I speak with my mom it's a bit embarrassing because I know she's not judging me but I feel that she might be or she might be a little embarrassed for me as well.

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