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How To!: I Never Thought Of It That Way: How To Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times

Slate Books

Slate Podcasts

Arts

3.8546 Ratings

🗓️ 25 October 2022

⏱️ 37 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Jenn and Todd Brandel have a close, loving relationship with their father, Bruce. But one thing makes their blood boil: his political chain emails. The messages are often forwarded commentary written in a provocative tone, and are an unwelcome reminder of just how far apart the family is politically. On this episode of How To!, we’re joined by Mónica Guzmán, senior fellow for public practice at Braver Angels and author of I Never Thought Of It That Way: How To Have Fearlessly Curious Conversations in Dangerously Divided Times. In the first of a special two-part episode on talking politics with our parents, Mónica teaches Jenn and Todd how to aim for understanding with their dad, not agreement. Next week, Jenn, Todd, and their dad Bruce will put these tips into practice—on mic—around the kitchen table, as Mónica provides post-game analysis. We’ll dive into what worked, what got a little messy, and how to keep making progress. If you liked this episode, check out: “How To Embrace Your Anti-Vax Family This Holiday Season” and “How To Talk Politics Without Wrecking Relationships.” Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. If you enjoy this show, please consider signing up for Slate Plus. Slate Plus members get an ad-free experience across the network and exclusive content on many shows—you’ll also be supporting the work we do here on How To!. Sign up now at slate.com/howtoplus to help support our work. Thanks Avast.com! Learn more about Avast One at Avast.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

You know, there's a desire to connect and we do have opinions and want to talk about the world.

0:06.3

And yet we can't do it in a way that doesn't end up with yelling, hanging up, you know,

0:11.6

swearing the other person off or overall just feeling crappy and feeling, I mean, angry

0:18.6

is one thing, but also just sad.

0:20.1

I think disappointed that we can't find a way to talk about this.

0:24.6

Welcome to how to.

0:26.2

I'm Amanda Ripley.

0:28.6

I don't know about the rest of you, but sometimes you get pretty annoying when I get

0:32.4

added to a big group chat or email chain and my phone just started blowing up with

0:36.7

memes and forwards and jokes.

0:39.6

But for our guest this week, that sound fills them with an extra dose of dread.

0:44.7

I have a family situation, a pickle, you might say, that I'm hoping y'all can help us out with

0:50.7

today that deals with political emails and fathers.

0:56.1

That's Jen Brandel. She's a friend of mine who I've worked with on a couple different projects.

1:00.7

She's also a journalist from Chicago who co-founded Harkin, a company that helps organizations

1:06.2

listen and connect better with their audiences, which is to say, Jen is a pro at communicating,

1:12.4

one of the best I know, which is why it is so frustrating to her that she and her brother Todd

1:17.9

get these email forwards from their dad that leave them occasionally baffled and frequently

1:23.7

fuming. Hi, I'm Todd. I'm 45 years old, married with a daughter.

1:29.3

I mean software development and very much have strong political opinions and find myself

1:35.3

getting into passionate and dispassionate arguments with family and friends all the time.

1:41.3

Overall, Jen and Todd describe their family as pretty tight-knit.

...

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