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The Mel Robbins Podcast

How To Help Anyone In Your Life Who’s Struggling - Fantastic Strategies From A Yale-Educated Psychologist

The Mel Robbins Podcast

SiriusXM Podcasts

Education, Mental Health, Relationships, Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.810.6K Ratings

🗓️ 18 May 2023

⏱️ 80 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

I am thrilled to share this conversation with you. It is packed with practical strategies that will help the people in your life who may be struggling. Dr. Lisa Damour is a clinical psychologist and author of three New York Times bestsellers. She earned degrees from both Yale and the University of Michigan and has more than 30 years of experience working with teens and families. Her latest book, The Emotional Lives of Teenagers, has been nothing short of life changing. Today you will learn… -five words you need to know when someone you love is struggling -the signs that tell you when someone is “costly coping” -what to say that will prevent a conversation from turning into a battle -why your kids dump all their emotional garbage on you -when it’s time for a therapist -why struggles are signs of being “mentally WELL”! I started using Dr. Lisa’s strategies with my family the moment we finished recording this episode. They work! You will leave this episode full of the resources you deserve. Plus, you’re going to love Dr. Damour (and how hopeful she makes you feel) as much as I do. Xo Mel And if you need to take the reins in your own life, sign up for my free Take Control mini-course to get inspiring support, guidance, and motivation. In this episode, you’ll learn: 4:00: Two things psychologists look for when assessing mental health. 5:15: Too many people are not distinguishing between these qualities. 6:15: When exactly IS adolescence? 8:30: We’ve had the wrong idea about what it means to be mentally healthy. 12:45: What’s the difference between a “normal” reaction vs one to be concerned about? 15:10: Do you know someone who is managing by “costly coping.” 16:45: So how do you help your kid? 20:00: This is how you don’t turn a conversation with your child into a fight. 24:00: Take these steps when it’s time to confront your teen. 27:30: Here’s how I wish I’d handled Chris’s depression differently. 30:20: Let’s look at the difference in emotions between genders. 34:15: How do you help people in your life who just can’t let it go? 39:00: Do your kids do this, too? It’s called the “defense of externalization.” 41:40: This is how my own mother set me straight. 44:00: How do you know when it’s time to get a therapist involved? 46:30: Can’t find a therapist for your child? Use this resource. 48:00: Here’s how the lockdown impacted our kids. 54:30: When are suicide thoughts normal and when are they concerning? 58:00: What happened to our nervous system during this time? 1:00:00: These are the concerns of Dr. Damour that we should watch for. 1:01:30: When do healthy habits become an obsession? 1:08:15: How do you let kids have emotions without letting them run the home? 1:14:00: Here is the most important thing you can offer your teen. Disclaimer

Transcript

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0:00.0

Hey, it's your friend Mel and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.

0:07.0

Okay, so today you're going to meet an expert that I picked up the phone and called and

0:16.2

begged to come on the show because I've been getting email after email after comment

0:21.2

asking for advice on a very specific topic.

0:25.2

Mel, how do I help people in my life who are struggling?

0:29.6

I'm sure it's on your mind.

0:31.0

I know it's on my mind.

0:32.4

We all know someone who is having a really hard time right now in their lives or maybe

0:37.1

even in life in general.

0:38.9

It might be your spouse.

0:40.4

It could be a friend.

0:41.4

Maybe it's a family member or perhaps it's one of your kids.

0:45.3

So I tracked down the very best resource.

0:48.0

Somebody that was a lifeline for me for years as I was navigating all kinds of issues

0:53.8

with our kids as they were growing up.

0:56.2

And her advice has even been life changing when my husband Chris was struggling with depression

1:02.4

and I just wasn't sure what to do.

1:07.0

You may know her from her extraordinarily popular article in the New York Times mother

1:12.3

load or you might know her from her three New York Times bestselling books.

1:17.8

Who am I talking about?

1:18.8

I'm talking about Dr. Lisa DeMore.

1:21.3

She's a clinical psychologist and New York Times bestselling author.

...

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