I've got a story time and I think some of you will be able to relate to this. It's a feeling that got brought up recently for me and it activated this whole feeling of not being safe and not feeling safe in my body. And the reason I knew I didn't feel safe is because when I was doing a lot of healing work in Bali, I felt very grounded in my body and I felt very calm and my nervous system was at ease and I felt a lot of peace and the community I had built around me, the people I had around me, the women I had in my field made me feel safe because they were able to hold my energy safely. They

were able to make me feel loved and appreciated and valued. And my friends that I met there and the

relationships that I created there, I'm forever grateful for because for the first time in my life,

I felt like I wasn't running away from anything. I felt like for the first time

in my life, I was really at home within. For most of my life, I do feel like I've always had the

sense of wanting to run away and escape. And this started very early on in childhood. I have a very

deep core memory of me as a child threatening my parents to run away. And I would do

this often where I would pack a mini suitcase as a child and then threatened to leave and walk out of

my dad's office back door and expect them to chase after me and expect them to tell me to stay home. I remember there was

this one time where I was like, I'm leaving, I'm leaving. And I packed a suitcase. I was probably like

six or seven years old. I ran out the door and I ran all the way down the driveway and no one came after me.

And I'm laughing because obviously it's so bittersweet and sad to think back on these memories and think back to my younger self and how I just always wanted to be valued and adored and seen.

I think children want to just be seen by their caregivers and by the people and adults

that they have around them in childhood.

We have so many tools and resources nowadays that help us understand parenting dynamics

and how to take care of our children and how to be and act certain ways. We know a lot more about

psychology and how parenting develops us as children and it really does affect our adulthood.

We have so much access to these resources now. But back in the day, we didn't have the tools we

have now. And to be completely honest, I think for the most part, I had an amazing childhood.

And I'm so grateful for it.

And the experiences I had, I grew up in a very comfortable, safe environment for the most part.

I had a beautiful house.

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