How to Have Healthy Conflict :: Lynn Hoffman [Ep 307]

Don't Mom Alone Podcast

Kids & Family, Leisure, Parenting, Education

5 • 2.3K Ratings

🗓️ 30 November 2020

⏱️ 49 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Between the pandemic and uncertainty of this last year and all the pressure of the upcoming holiday season, there is a lot of potential for conflict. My friend and mentor Lynn Hoffman is here with some timely advice on how to engage in this inevitable conflict in a healthy way.

We talk about doing some inner work when you feel hurt by someone or see conflict on the horizon and Lynn shares some stories of how examining her own heart and feelings have made all the difference in her own relationships.

“It’s about recognizing that I'm a limited human being and I have a limited amount of emotional capacity. It is not infinite. So it's my responsibility. Not somebody else's to pull back and spend some time with the Lord.To do some inner work to really figure out, okay, what's going on with me and what do I need at this moment?”

Whether you find yourself in new, hard places of stress and conflict or fear the constant repeating of old woundings when interacting with family, this episode is for you.

Questions to ask yourself in conflict:

What happened?
What do I think about this situation and person?
What did I want (expect)?
How do I feel (now and any related past feelings)

Links Mentioned:

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey y'all welcome back to the Don't Mom Alarm podcast. I am your host Heather McFaddean
0:12.6	and this is the place where I'm going to walk alongside you and connect you with people
0:17.2	and resources so you know that you don't mom alone. In this episode number 307 I'm
0:23.6	welcoming back on the show my friend Lynn Hoffman. So much going on that we don't have a lot
0:30.8	emotional capacity it's one of the areas that I was talking about earlier about recognizing
0:35.1	that I'm a limited human being and I have a limited amount of emotional capacity. It is not
0:40.8	infinite and so for me I have to recognize that I don't have the capacity right now and so
0:46.8	it's my responsibility not somebody else's it's my responsibility to do what you said you
0:52.4	did when you recognized that you were really struggling is you pull back and you spent
0:57.1	some time with a lord you studied some scripture you did some interwork you tried to really
1:01.8	listen to worship music to really figure out okay what's going on with me and what do
1:05.6	I need in this moment and to help find people who can provide that or you provide it in
1:12.4	ways that are helpful to you that help nurture you so that you can now go back and have
1:18.4	approached someone and have a conversation that's not going to be a confrontation and a threatening
1:24.5	and blaming and punishing type of situation. So back in 2016 I had Lynn come on the show
1:32.9	you can find that link in our show notes in that episode she shares some of her story and
1:38.8	we talk about 12 separate recovery programs Lynn is written a curriculum about that that
1:43.4	we use at our church for our celebrate recovery program and in that 12 step process you are
1:51.7	working through your feelings your thoughts and your actions and one of the steps is making
1:56.2	amends with those that you have harmed because of patterns of behavior the thinking the feeling
2:02.2	and the doing and so I thought Lynn would be the perfect person to come on here and coach
2:07.6	us through how to have healthy conflict in light of all that 2020 has brought how do we
	...

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