How to have a healthier, positive relationship to sex | Tiffany Kagure Mugo and Siphumeze Khundayi

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4.1 • 11.9K Ratings

🗓️ 22 February 2018

⏱️ 12 minutes

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Summary

From our fear of women's bodies to our sheepishness around the word "nipple," our ideas about sex need an upgrade, say sex educators (and hilarious women) Tiffany Kagure Mugo and Siphumeze Khundayi. For a radical new take on sex positivity, the duo take the TED stage to suggest we look to Africa for erotic wisdom both ancient and modern, showing us how we can shake off problematic ideas about sex we've internalized and re-define pleasure on our own terms. (This talk contains mature content.)

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Transcript

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0:00.0	This TED Talk features curator and blogger Tiffany Kogure Mugo and photographer and theater maker Sifumezi Kundai.
0:09.1	Recorded live at TED Women 2017.
0:12.3	This talk contains graphic and mature language.
0:15.4	Discretion is advised.
0:19.6	Okay, so we've signed up. There's no turning back now.
0:23.7	Hello, guys.
0:25.5	Hello, everyone.
0:26.9	So, you think you know about sex.
0:30.0	Chances are you don't, and we are here to tell you that you don't.
0:34.1	We are here to tell you that no matter where you come from, Abuja to Alabama, Dubai to
0:40.2	downtown London, sex has and continues to change. And we need to understand this if we're going to keep
0:45.9	things safe and spicy. So now the act of rubbing our naked bodies together has undergone a number of
0:52.4	changes. And those changes have been affected by eons of ideas.
0:56.9	Even you, as an adult, have some internalized ideas about sex that you never challenge,
1:02.3	some good, some bad, and some very, very strange. So, when you allow someone to see you but naked,
1:10.0	do you ever think about how the ideas that you
1:13.1	internally have will affect whether you will like them tickling your elbow or kissing your thigh
1:18.3	or shouting out the name of a chosen deity? One must do internal monitoring and evaluation
1:24.1	if we are going to live our best sexy lives.
1:30.4	And we're going to tell you how to have a great sex life, right?
1:35.9	But the first thing you need to do is let go of the bad ideas you have about sex.
1:40.8	Think about the things that we need to change and the things we need to embrace in all of their shiny newness.
	...

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