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How To! with Mike Pesca

How To Forgive Someone Who Isn't Sorry

How To! with Mike Pesca

Peach Fish Projects

Education, How To

4.32K Ratings

🗓️ 20 December 2022

⏱️ 37 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

TJ has spent years trying to heal herself and put her childhood behind her. Both of her parents struggled with addiction, which made for a very complicated, unstable upbringing. After sacrificing her own childhood to raise her siblings—TJ feels deeply wounded by her mother in particular. She really wants to let it go. The only question is how. On this episode of How To!, we bring on journalist Marina Cantacuzino. Marina is the founder of The Forgiveness Project, a charity that shares stories of victims, survivors, and perpetrators of "crime and conflict who have rebuilt their lives following hurt and trauma." She's also the author of a new book called Forgiveness: An Exploration. Marina shares some powerful stories about others who have opened their hearts to forgiveness—even if it took awhile—and began to free themselves from resentment. 


If you liked this episode, check out: "How To Forgive the Unforgivable."


Do you have a question without an answer? Send us a note at howto@slate.com or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.


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Want a behind-the-scenes look at how we create the show? Check out Slate's Pocket Collections for research and reading lists, as well as additional insights into how we think about the stories behind the episodes. 


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Transcript

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0:00.0

This episode is brought to you by Tinder.

0:04.0

Life is full of possibilities.

0:06.0

A cheeky reply to a message here could lead to a world of fun new experiences

0:10.0

over there and with Tinder it all starts with a swipe.

0:14.0

Strangers can become mates, mates can become lovers with matching tattoos

0:18.0

or maybe it's not that serious.

0:20.0

Whether a match leads to something new and exciting or something personal,

0:24.0

no matter what, all matches lead to self-discovery.

0:27.0

Download Tinder Now.

0:29.0

Hey, how's your team?

0:31.0

My name's TJ.

0:33.0

I'm calling because I have a question, a problem to solve.

0:37.0

I want to know how to forgive someone who hasn't asked for forgiveness.

0:43.0

They say forgiveness is for yourself and it helps you move on something.

0:49.0

And I'm ready to forgive somebody that I don't really know what that looks like.

0:55.0

Welcome to How To.

0:57.0

The show where we take your thorniest questions,

1:00.0

questions that Google cannot answer and try to tackle them with the wisest people we can find.

1:06.0

I'm Amanda Ripley.

1:08.0

Today we're going to grapple with the message you just heard which TJ left on our How To Hotline.

1:14.0

She's 35 years old now but still reckoning with things that happen when she was much younger.

1:21.0

My father was in and out of prison.

...

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