My whole story is about avoiding myself and avoiding really having to affirm that what society says

about me, what my mother was saying about me wasn't true, and to stand in my truth with no

validation other than myself. And that is hard. Be comfortable being uncomfortable because the

second you can sit with what is, you have your own type of belonging that you can move from.

And that's really powerful to build a life from there.

So have you ever felt crushed or demoralized when somebody challenged your beliefs?

Like their different views condemned you or made you feel unheard or incapable of finding

any kind of common ground. Even when you knew writing them off wasn't really the answer either.

So I think we've all been there facing the harsh judgment that can sometimes come with polarized

perspectives. When a conversation turns to conflict instead of understanding, it's easy to feel

isolated and even alienated. And we question if we truly belong when others refuse to see our shared

humanity. But what if differing views weren't something to avoid at all costs? What if instead

they were an opportunity to grow and wisdom and compassion, a chance to find belonging by

embracing the parts of ourselves that feel defensive or reactive?

My guest today, Melissa Carter, has devoted over a decade of her life to exploring these ideas.

As senior director for Global Spiritual Life at New York University,

Melissa guides students to sit with this comfort, to explore the feelings and the

knowing and the experiences wrapped around. Being in a community, being in a conversation,

interactions where people don't always see the world the same way, let alone any given issue.

In our conversation, she shares some really groundbreaking perspectives on reframing opposition

as a tool for mutual understanding, rather than the much more common cancellation or polarization.

And she offers techniques to overcome barriers that prevent belonging both to our highest values

...