How to Find and Live by Your Values

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Podcast

Mark Manson

Self-improvement, Education

4.8 • 3.8K Ratings

🗓️ 1 May 2025

⏱️ 247 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Welcome to the first episode of the Solved Podcast. Today, we are solving your values.

Over eight years ago, I wrote The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck—a book that, underneath all the swearing and irreverence, was really about one thing: values. What do you care about? What’s actually worth your time, your energy, your life?

So in this kickoff episode of SOLVED, Drew and I are going deep into why your values are the foundation of everything—your happiness, your mental health, your relationships, your sense of meaning—and why so many of us today feel so lost.

We break down the difference between chasing cheap dopamine hits and building real fulfillment, why not all values are created equal, how to figure out what your true values are, how to change your values, how to start living out your values more fully, and how values silently shape your decisions and relationships every day. If you’ve ever felt stuck, directionless, or like you’re living someone else’s life, this episode is the wake-up call you need. It’s time to stop drifting through life and start giving a fck about the right things. Forget the rest.

Welcome to SOLVED.

Get the Values companion guide for this episode: https://solvedpodcast.com/values

Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join the Momentum, a community of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://findmomentum.com

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Chapters

00:00:00 Welcome to SOLVED00:06:53 Episode Roadmap00:08:37 CHAPTER 1: What are Values?00:09:32 Characteristics of Values00:13:29 Values vs. Psychological Needs vs. Preferences00:22:11 Schwartz's Values Wheel00:29:49 Instrumental and Terminal Values00:31:19 Hierarchy of Values00:37:38 Values Conflict00:41:30 Carol Ryff's Six Dimensions of Psychological Well-being00:56:05 Aristotle's Golden Mean as Virtue01:04:04 CHAPTER 2: Values and Your Relationships01:13:05 Values and Conflict in Relationships01:22:09 The Clash of Values in Relationships01:29:31 Identifying and Navigating Values in Relationships01:33:40 Understanding Compatibility Through Values01:36:25 CHAPTER 3: Where Do Values Come From?01:37:19 Margaret Mead's Cultural Relativism01:46:55 Mary Douglas's and the Grid-Group Framework01:55:31 Jonathan Haidt's Moral Foundations Theory02:08:25 The Allegory of the Taco Truck02:13:33 CHAPTER 4: Identifying Your Core Values02:15:56 Thought Experiments to Find Your Values02:31:14 The Instrumental Value of Golf02:42:45 The Role of Trauma in Value Change02:47:49 CHAPTER 5: How to Change Your Values02:49:39 Kazimierz Dabrowski and Positive Disintegration03:02:17 On Cults and Cognitive Dissonance03:15:20 Self-Confrontation and Value Change03:17:29 Charlie Munger's Maxim: Incentives and Behavior03:20:50 CHAPTER 6: Lessons and Takeaways03:20:54 Aristotle's Practical Wisdom03:35:23 The 80/20 of Values03:54:49 Reflecting on the Episode

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is a very serious podcast, Drew.
0:02.7	I can tell already, yes.
0:04.7	How can you tell?
0:05.6	Well, the jacket you're wearing.
0:08.8	I figured.
0:09.3	You're a blazer today.
0:10.4	I figured somebody needs to take this seriously around here.
0:14.0	Oh, okay.
0:15.4	It's, you know, we're doing values today.
0:19.1	It's a very deep philosophical topic. It's a new podcast. You know,
0:24.7	somebody's got to be a professional in the building. I know you just woke up like 20 minutes ago.
0:30.7	I did. You know, ran a comb through your hair. I didn't even do that. You didn't even do that.
0:38.3	You just have a barbarian over here.
0:40.7	Well, I'm glad you're keeping it classy for us.
0:43.0	You're welcome.
0:43.9	Yeah.
0:44.1	The inaugural episode of the Solve podcast, my God, we've been working on this thing for so
1:00.5	freaking long.
1:00.7	It seems like a very long time at this point while still doing the other podcast.
1:04.6	I know.
1:05.5	I know.
1:06.1	It's almost like six months of prep for this.
	...

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