How To Finally Let Yourself Be Happy

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Podcast

Mark Manson

Self-improvement, Education

4.8 • 3.8K Ratings

🗓️ 1 August 2025

⏱️ 201 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Everyone’s obsessed with being happy—but what if that obsession is the very thing making us miserable? In this episode of Solved, Drew and I explore what actually makes us feel good—and why most of us are chasing it in all the wrong ways.

We unpack what philosophers like Aristotle and the Buddha got right thousands of years ago—and how modern science is just now catching up. We talk about hedonic vs. eudaimonic happiness, why more money and status don’t necessarily move the needle, and why most self-help advice completely misses the point. Happiness isn’t something you get. It’s a side effect of doing the right things for the right reasons.

So, if you're tired of chasing "more" and ready to actually feel a little less miserable, this one’s for you.

We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/happiness

Ready to stop listening to podcasts and actually start taking action? Join Momentum, a community of like-minded people who are taking small steps every day to make big changes in their lives: https://findmomentum.com/happiness

Sign up for my newsletter, Your Next Breakthrough. It will help make you a less awful person: https://markmanson.net/breakthrough

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Chapters:

0:00 Introduction

10:42 Chapter 1: The Origins of Human Happiness

11:04 Hedonia vs Eudaimonia

15:11 Epicureanism

23:20 Eastern Perspectives

27:15 Modern Happiness Research

29:30 Chapter 2: The WEIRD Problem: When Happiness Research Goes West

40:47 Chapter 3: The Three Components of Happiness

46:44 Hedonic Adaptation

59:53 Chapter 4: What Does—and Doesn't—Make Us Happy

1:00:35 Drugs and Alcohol

1:07:23 Sex

1:15:09 Money

1:23:10 Fame and Status

1:37:26 Geography and Environment

1:39:51 Love and Relationships

1:41:19 Friendships

1:44:04 Having Children

1:49:10 The Experiencing vs. Remembering Self

1:52:53 Chapter 5: Baseline vs. Circumstantial vs. Intentional Happiness

1:53:35 Genetics

1:59:50 Circumstances

2:02:16 Intentional Actions

2:06:13 Relationships

2:10:51 Gratitude

2:13:13 Altruism

2:18:47 Experiences vs. Stuff

2:22:12 Implementing Intentional Happiness

2:24:21 Chapter 6: Don't Pursue Happiness; Remove Unhappiness

2:29:05 Social Comparison

2:31:30 Maximizers vs. Satisficers

2:34:19 Chapter 7: How Happiness Changes Across the Lifespan

2:51:44 Chapter 8: Happiness Myths

3:04:47 Chapter 9: The 80/20 Guide to Happiness

3:16:22 Lessons Learned

Transcript

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0:00.0	Happiness has been done and redone and redone again many, many, many times over on many podcasts.
0:07.4	There are like hundreds of books on it at this point, popular psychology books.
0:12.0	Our goal with this is to synthesize and compress as much of the usable information as possible
0:17.7	into something that is actually practical for you to use and take away.
0:22.2	Some of the things that we're going to be covering in the episode include how to escape the
0:25.8	happiness trap that keeps 90% of people chasing the wrong things in their life.
0:30.2	The ancient secret that Aristotle and the Buddha understood that goes against like the vast
0:34.7	majority of self-help advice that you see online.
0:36.9	How to break free of the
0:38.3	treadmill of I'll be happy when X happens that keeps you postponing the joy in your life
0:45.3	instead of just experiencing it now. How to stop fighting against your own mind. How to stop
0:49.8	resisting reality around you and the effect that this has on your day-to-day well-being.
0:54.5	We'll talk about the three definitions of happiness in the scientific literature and how they
0:59.8	are different and how they can be achieved, both separately and together.
1:03.6	We'll be discovering the true relationship between happiness and things like money,
1:08.0	sex, where you live, who you're with, how old you are.
1:11.8	All those age-old questions will be covering eight of the most common myths that people have
1:16.0	about happiness and what you should understand instead.
1:18.8	And finally, we will be giving you over a dozen practical takeaways that you can use in your
1:24.0	life to be a little bit more happier.
1:26.5	Because honestly, Drew, it's not about being like capital H happy.
1:30.8	It's really just about being a little bit happier than yesterday.
	...

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