How To Feel Better When You Love An Alcoholic
Love Over Addiction
Michelle Anderson
4.8 • 1.5K Ratings
🗓️ 11 December 2016
⏱️ 8 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Are you more comfortable putting yourself down than being kind to yourself?
How do you react when someone compliments you? Do you take a moment to breathe it in, or are you quick to reject?
When you've done something good you need to do two things:
Recognize it. Sit with it. Dwell in it with a sense of accomplishment and achievement.
It doesn't need to be some super large accomplishment. It could be as simple as loading and unloading the dishes.
Celebrate all the little daily accomplishments. They are just as important to recognize as the big tasks you've achieved.
Recognizing your small victories allows feelings of joy into your heart.
These little moments of happiness grow your confidence.
Get in the habit of noticing all the things you are doing well rather than the things you're not.
Did you drive yourself safely to work today? That's good - you were a safe driver. Take a moment to celebrate that!
Did you get the kids to school on time today? Perfect - you're considerate of their teachers' time and you are organized today. Celebrate that!
Don't let yourself think, "Well, I got the kids to school today, but they were wearing dirty clothes because I didn't have time to do the laundry."
No. Don't rip yourself off of something you did well because you're more comfortable putting yourself down than seeing yourself as a woman who raises up.
In the Love Over Addiction program, we change that negative pattern and replace it with love and care for yourself.
The second way to feel better is this:
Feel gratitude. It's always important to thank God for helping you. You didn't get to work safely by chance. You got there because you were paying attention to the road and God covered you in His safety.
You were able to dress your children for school because he gave you the financial resources to purchase their clothing.
Otherwise, they would be going to school in dirty old rags (and some kids do just that).
It's always important to say thank you to God for our big and small victories. He is always a big part of our accomplishments.
When you accomplish something - feeding your family a healthy meal, being kind and smiling to a stranger, or bringing someone a meal - God is so proud of you.
Are you taking in the approval that is being offered to you?
It's ok to give yourself the approval you're looking for.
It's ok to offer yourself the same kindness you offer others.
And just sit with that feeling of self-love.
When you do this, God's love and your love for self will become so much more powerful than anyone else's love for you.
You won't seek other people's approval because you will no longer need it.
If you're ready to make your healing as important as your partner's sobriety – we are waiting for you. Our programs are online, confidential, and you have lifetime access – so you can do them at your own pace.
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | You're listening to the wife of an alcoholic podcast. Are you more comfortable putting yourself down than being kind to yourself? How do you react when someone compliments you? Do you take |
| 0:28.0 | a moment to breathe it in? Or are you quick to reject it? |
| 0:34.0 | When you've done something good, you need to do two things. |
| 0:39.0 | Number one, recognize it, sit with it, dwell with a sense of accomplishment and achievement. |
| 0:48.1 | It doesn't need to be some super huge accomplishment. It could be as simple as unloading and loading the dishes. |
| 0:57.0 | Celebrate all the little daily accomplishments. |
| 1:01.0 | They are just as important to recognize than the big tasks you've achieved. |
| 1:07.0 | Recognizing your small victories allows feelings of joy into your heart. These little moments of happiness grow your |
| 1:17.5 | confidence. Get in the habit of noticing all the things you are doing rather than the things you're not. |
| 1:27.4 | Did you drive yourself safely to work today? |
| 1:31.0 | That's good. |
| 1:32.0 | You're a safe driver. Take a moment to celebrate. Did you get the kids to school on time today? Perfect. You're considerate of the teacher's time and you are organized today. |
| 1:45.7 | Celebrate that. |
| 1:48.0 | Don't let yourself think, don't let yourself think, well, I got the kids to school today but they were wearing dirty |
| 1:54.5 | shorts because I didn't have time to do the laundry. No don't rip yourself off of |
| 2:00.6 | something you did well because you're more comfortable putting yourself |
| 2:05.4 | down than seeing yourself as a woman who rises up. |
| 2:11.4 | In the Love Over Addiction Program program we change that negative pattern and replace it with love and care for yourself. |
| 2:19.0 | The second way to feel better is it feel gratitude. |
| 2:26.8 | It's always important to thank God for helping you. |
| 2:30.6 | You didn't get to work safely by chance. You got there because you were paying |
| 2:35.2 | attention to the road and God covered you in his safety. You were able to dress |
... |
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