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Honestly with Bari Weiss

How to Examine Your Marriage and Your Life

Honestly with Bari Weiss

The Free Press

News, Society & Culture

4.6 • 7.8K Ratings

🗓️ 27 May 2025

⏱️ 68 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

A lot of people fall in love outside of their marriages. Some have affairs. Some leave their wives or husbands. But not a lot of people are Agnes Callard. Agnes did something really unique. She fell in love while she was (seemingly happily) married with two children. She told her husband. They got divorced—sharing a single lawyer—and it took under three weeks to split. And then? Then they all moved in together. To repeat, Agnes lives with her husband, her ex-husband, and their combined three kids. And by the way, they’re all philosophy professors at The University of Chicago. The cherry on top is that she talks about all of it. A lot. And with radical openness and honesty—including in an unforgettable profile of her in The New Yorker titled “Agnes Callard’s Marriage of the Minds.” Perhaps you hear all of that and think: This woman is a nut. Or at the very least a little zany. We beg to differ. There’s something about Agnes. Whether it’s a result of her worldview, her predisposition, or her vocation as a philosopher, that gives her a tremendous ability to float above any situation—including the most intimate and personal—and philosophize it. When Agnes writes and speaks openly about the experience of falling in love while married, and about how it unmoored her understanding of relationships and expectations, she helps the rest of us make sense of the most universal topics and experiences. It is an unusual gift. These experiences and her reflections on them all became fodder for her new book, Open Socrates: The Case for a Philosophical Life, where she says we are not asking ourselves important questions—about how we should live and how we might change. Today on Honestly, Bari asks Agnes: how and why she turned her life upside down for love, how she knew it was love, how she examines her own marriage, how we can all live like her hero Socrates, and how an examined life can benefit us all. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:31.0

From the free press, this is honestly and I'm Barry Weiss. A lot of people fall in love

0:36.9

outside of their marriages. Some of them

0:39.2

have affairs. Some of them leave their wives or husbands. But not a lot of people are Agnes Callard.

0:46.0

Agnes Callard did something truly unique. She fell in love with someone when she was seemingly

0:51.4

happily married with two children. Okay, that part's not that unique.

0:55.2

But then she told her husband, and they got divorced, sharing a single lawyer, in under three weeks.

1:01.7

And then? Well, then they all moved in together. I repeat, Agnes lives with her husband,

1:08.8

her ex-husband, and their combined three sons.

1:12.4

And by the way, they're all philosophy professors at the University of Chicago.

1:17.5

The chairing on top of this strange situation is that she talks about all of it, a lot,

1:24.1

and with radical openness and honesty, including in a truly unforgettable profile of her

1:30.5

in the New Yorker called Agnes Callard's Marriage of the Minds, the philosopher who lives with her

1:36.7

husband and her ex-husband, searches for what one human can be to another human.

1:43.2

Now, perhaps you hear all of this and think, this woman is a nut,

...

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