How to divorce as allies, not enemies | Allison O'Brien

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4.1 • 11.9K Ratings

🗓️ 14 February 2025

⏱️ 12 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Ending a marriage doesn’t have to mean ending a family, says communication expert Allison O'Brien, who navigated her own divorce without lawyers or mediators. She introduces a framework for ensuring a divorce remains peaceful, supports children and creates a new family dynamic that nurtures everyone involved.

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0:44.3	You're listening to TED Talks Daily, where we bring you new ideas to spark your curiosity every day.
0:55.4	I'm your host, Elise Hugh. More than 40% of first marriages in the U.S. end in divorce. It can be particularly painful for children who can sometimes carry wounds from their parents split into adulthood. Communications consultant Alison O'Brien was one of those children.
1:01.6	In her talk, she lays out an alternative path for parents, what it looks like to be allies
1:06.9	instead of enemies in a divorce. She also reveals how a gracious split from her own partner actually made her family stronger
1:14.5	than ever.
1:15.6	That's coming up.
1:19.5	It should have been the happiest day in my life.
1:22.6	It was my wedding day.
1:24.4	But there was a part of me that just couldn't wait for it to be over. And not because I didn't
1:29.9	want to marry Ben. I did. I really did. But because both my parents were there, and I was the
1:36.9	byproduct of a high-conflict divorce. In 25 years, my parents had been in the same place at the same
1:43.6	time, maybe half a dozen times.
1:46.9	Acrimonious is euphemistic. But my parents' divorce doesn't make me unique or special.
1:54.8	40 to 50% of first marriages end in divorce impacting half a million kids in the U.S. every year.
	...

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