How to Date in Midlife and Reignite Your Sex Life!

Begin Again with Davina McCall

FlightStory

Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Mental Health, Education, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 631 Ratings

🗓️ 3 July 2025

⏱️ 89 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode of Begin Again, celebrated relationship expert and Married At First Sight psychologist Mel Schilling shares the most powerful lessons she's learned from decades of guiding couples — and from her own late-in-life love story. Mel opens up about what dating later in life really looks like, why modern romance requires a different mindset, and how anyone — at any age — can find meaningful connection. She reflects on her journey of becoming a mother in her forties, meeting her partner abroad, and the myths we need to unlearn about love, sex, and intimacy as we age. With warmth, clarity, and a no-nonsense approach, Mel explains how to keep the spark alive in long-term relationships, why emotional intimacy is often misunderstood, and the practical shifts every couple can make to deepen their connection. This episode is full of honest insights, surprising truths, and expert strategies for anyone navigating love — whether you're starting over or trying to reignite what you already have. 🎙️ Drop a comment: What’s Your Biggest takeaway? www.instagram.com/beginagain https://www.tiktok.com/@beginagainpod00:00 Intro 01:00 Davina’s Introduction 01:55 Mutual Appreciation and Warm-Up 04:22 Mel’s Early Ambition and Power of Manifestation 07:25 Where Psychology Meets Peak Performance 09:02 Finding Love Later in Life: Mel’s Story 11:01 Trust, Safety, and Dating After 40 13:39 Building a Dating Brand: Self-Awareness and Authenticity 16:30 Letting Go of Old Identities in Relationships 19:13 Mindset Shifts That Transform Dating Perspectives 25:20 Rejection, Resilience, and Emotional Strength in Dating 29:11 Knowing Your Dealbreakers While Actively Dating 33:15 Core Relationship Values 35:23 Mel’s Honest Miscarriage Journey 38:37 The Reality of Sex While Trying to Conceive 41:13 Mel’s IVF Experience and Emotional Impact 44:40 Thoughts on Parenthood and Family Life 47:35 Ancient + Brave Ad 49:04 Davina Reflects on Her Relationship with Michael 51:45 Ranking Relationship Values with Michael and Davina 1:13:13 Davina and Michael on Marriage and Commitment 1:13:45 Which Values Matter Less in a Relationship? 1:17:37 Understanding Consent in Modern Relationships – Sponsored by: Ancient + Brave - https://ancientandbrave.earth/pages/planet with code BEGINAGAIN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	What about if you've been with somebody for a very long time and you are thinking, I want to spice up our life and you're a bit worried that your partner might overreact? We started calling the bed the workbench. That's so on the workbench. I really want to talk to our listeners who are all of a sudden starting again. The dating pool. Let's just take a moment to row hard it is. It's a world of rejection and resilience.
0:22.2	All the rules have changed, but don't be daunted by it. So what would be your advice? Online dating does work. And there's some practical aspects there that you can get out of the way really quickly. For example, we have 70,000 thoughts a day. Most of them are negative. When you've been with somebody for a very long time
0:37.1	You've got to like who you are with someone else
0:39.0	But you can't do that who you are with someone else.
0:39.3	But you can't do that if you don't start by liking yourself. You're just going to project that onto the other person. It's going to be an unhealthy relationship. Let's talk about deal-breakers. These sorts of indicators of basically being a bad person. I look at them in two ways, really. Wait, everybody go and get pen and paper right now.
0:54.1	One, two.
0:55.8	Did you say that again?
0:56.7	I love that. in two ways, really. Wait, everybody going to get pen and paper right now. One, two.
0:55.8	Did you say that again?
0:56.7	I love that.
1:00.1	Today I am talking to Mel Schilling.
1:03.7	She's my new best friend.
1:04.7	I love her.
1:06.0	So basically, she knows everything there is to know about relationships and navigating dating and dating
1:12.3	apps which as everybody knows can be quite tricky she is full of great advice and tips stick
1:20.9	around as well because we're going to be talking about 11 values that we discuss and Michael put his values, 11 values in an order and I put my 11 values
1:33.2	in order and we can see how they compare and what that means and it's something that you guys
1:40.9	could definitely do at home. So if you could, it would be amazing if you could like and subscribe.
1:48.3	It means the world to us.
1:50.1	And yeah, it means that we can deliver amazing content to you all the time.
1:55.8	Mel Schilling, I am beyond excited.
1:59.5	I feel like meeting you in the car was a kind of meeting of energy
	...

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