This is a download from LBC, Steve Allen's Little Bit Extra.

Morning everybody, welcome along to your free podcast for today.

It's Monday, it's the 28th of January, and it's still freezing cold.

In fact, actually, it's colder than it was the last two days added together.

But it doesn't matter, because over on Dancing on Ice, she's face down in it.

Now you know the

programme is fiddled because they've kept her in. You know, somebody who dances that badly

after weeks and weeks, I'm sorry, it's called Dancing on Ice. She can't dance. She can't do

anything. But they've got to keep her in because otherwise there's no publicity. Can you name

me four other people in it?

No, of course not. So anyway, off she goes. She falls in the final moments and is whisked off to

physiotherapy. It's just drama after drama after drama. Jason Gardner tells her that once she

drops the GC Act, she could be a good skater. Unfortunately, that's years off, isn't it? And so then, Arge admits he was worried she'd lost some teeth.

Like, that's going to make any difference.

Goodness sake.

And so she treats herself to six large brandies and a curry.

Oh, that's a good diet food, isn't it, Gemma?

Because she really are concerned about losing weight.

Just unfortunately, you can't dance, dear. Christopher Dean and Jane Torville think it's too little too late, and they agree with Jason Gardner's harsh critic. Of course

they do. That's why he's there. Who are these snowflakes? Oh, you mustn't body shame. You mustn't

do this and that. She's too fat. It's dangerous. She's clinically obese. And she keeps falling

over. Why? Because she can't dance. She can't dance in real life, let alone with a pair of ice skates on. But anyway, then Jason Gardner gets into another on-air route. This is what they like. They like this. That's why they've kept Gemma in. Got nothing to do with you, the audience. They couldn't care less about you. This program was dead

...