You're listening to the Impact Theory Podcast, your source of empowering ideas and actionable techniques from the world's highest achievers. Join host Tom Billiou, serial entrepreneur and co-founder of the billion dollar brand Quest Nutrition on a journey to unlock your potential and realize your vision of success. Welcome to Impact Theory. What is up everybody and welcome to another episode of Relation, Ship Theory. I'm your co-host Tom Billu and I am here with the absolute center of my universe, Miss Elizabeth Diana Billu. What is that poem? Wow, full name to me. Full name, all of it in there and I doubt we can see it on camera, but you gotta respect the Christmas socks and the Christmas earrings, which I am very, very impressed by. And if I wasn't leaving pretty much right after this to go film something, I too would be Christmas-doubt. Well, I actually- Actually, that's a lie, so I wouldn't do it for this episode. Yeah, I was actually thinking about wearing, so I have a Christmas sweater that you made for me. Yes, that's a little misleading that I decorated for you.

I think it's more true for me. So around Christmas season, we always try and find things that we can do that is unique to us and that just are spending time together. And we bought these sweaters that we designed for each other. And so, oh, sorry, sweaters that we then decorated for each other. So I'm thinking like maybe ease the audience in though to our crazy Christmas.

Hardcore Christmas, madness, yeah.

So but next week we are gonna be in New York Oh, yeah, and we'll be doing it live from New York on our really that'll be fun on our yearly Christmas New York trip that we do where I get to sit on Santa's lap indeed truth Indeed, um, all right. Let's dig in Michelle's got some cool stuff for us by the way way. All right, Shady old lady coming to the rescue. Yeah, I'm about it. So the last episode that we did, I asked her, would you rather than we have the results? Yeah, nice. So it was, would you rather spend the holidays with in laws that you hate or spend the holidays alone without your problem? And the results are in. It was 50-50. Wow. I'm actually really surprised by that. I was really surprised too, but it was 50-50. Wow. Well, there you have it. All right. So we've got another, would you rather today? Yeah, I like these, is it okay? Okay. Theoretically. Yes. Theoretically have another. Okay, here we go. All right, there we go. Okay, would you rather have a successful partner you barely see or a partner that works in 9 to 5 that you see often? Oh, that's beyond easy for me. I would much rather see you. And I am making the assumption that you enjoy your 9 to five, which I think is is fair because if you hated it then just for that reason, but to me there there's absolutely no substitute for time together, which you made me abundantly aware of in the early days of entrepreneurial journey where I was just working so much that it was really becoming detrimental. And so now while I probably work, I actually don't think I work as much now as I didn't be doing, do you think I do? Yes. Wow, that's interesting. I feel like, because now I definitely prioritize our relationship on the weekend, whereas before I did not. And so while I still work on the weekends, I don't work like I used to.

I used to be like,

if I'm awake, I'm working or working out, like 24-7. So... Well, okay, this is fascinating, because I'm really interested. This is, actually, is really interesting. I think you work twice as much. Really? Because everything... You use... Distressing? Well, here's the reason. You used to be gone. So when you were out, you were working. When you came home, you were hangout time.

That's only sort of true. Like I remember, wow, he's normally so quiet. I remember being up in the loft a lot, a lot, a lot. When I was doing affiliate marketing and really trying to learn that game and all of that was after hours. None of that was at work. So I think you may be painting back a little bit. All right, well, let's not degrade. It's fascinating for you and I to continue that conversation off camera. And the funny thing is you want to know my answer. Definitely. I'd rather you be successful and see you less. That's interesting. Tell me why. So I guess it's twofold.

One, you wouldn't be happy if you did a 9 to 5. So I think that that really is a, that was my initial response. I know you so well that if you just lived a 9 to 5, you would be, you wouldn't be you. And I think that obviously like I find you very attractive. very drawn to you and a big thing is your ambition and a big thing isn't you

want to be successful. So yeah, I think that I would choose that because I don't think you would be satisfied. So it's like, if I get to spend more time with you, but you're actually less satisfied, you're more depressed. I don't see that spark in your eye. I wouldn't feel good about that for your sake. So yeah. That is a very wise answer. And it's interesting because it doesn't sway my opinion at all, but you're so very right about me that yeah, I would be, I need to be all in, like getting into an obsession. It was fun talking about this yesterday on the,

I can't remember if I talked about it on the,

I definitely talked about it on the after impact that we did for Brendan Bouchard. And like even talking about obsession, I click into this mode of like getting so amped up and so energized, then just really into it. And that is very much my personality. My entire life, I've cultivated things that I get obsessed about, that I love. And this is interesting because I think this ties into the part of my personality that allows me to really get obsessed with something I like to collect. And it's a very similar thing where you just go all in. You know the entire universe. You know like just that whole world, like whatever it is. Like when I was in film school and probably for three or four years after, I was collecting in essence the consumption or the knowledge of films. So I would watch seven films a week. And for anybody who thinks, oh, that's easy, try it. Try watching seven films a week. It is harder than it sounds, especially, and films. There's something about TV shows that makes them way more bingeable, but like seven films a week is hard to keep up with. You come home, excuse me, you come home during the week,

like you're tired and you still got a clock one. And yeah, it was pretty rough to keep up with. But I loved it. That sense of, I've seen that and that and that and that and just on and on and on. And then when DVDs came out, even when we were broke, like all I would ever ask for for birthdays, for Christmas, anniversary anything I wanted a DVD because I wanted that physical manifestation of my obsession.

I'll stop DVD because I wanted that physical manifestation

of my obsession. I'll stop there because of the iron. I'm sure that was going. I could keep going. So just with bringing it back to what you were saying, like to understand how into things I get, and I need that obsession in my life. So, and I think making that your job is so critical. So for you to say, oh, I'd rather you work a nine to five,

I'm energized by obsessions.

I get passionate. I want to talk about it. No, no, no, I'm saying. That's why your answer is so right on the money. Whereas for the reverse, you don't get sucked into things like that. It doesn't feed you energy. not like off camera we're talking about things that you're obsessed with. I mean, you're looking at me like you're not sure that that's true, but really think about it. When was the last time you just went off on something that you were just obsessed with? I think I do. Tell me. No, not at all. Absolutely not. Yeah, but it's very important to you, incredibly meaningful for you, but it's not an obsession, which I't think is necessarily bad by the way I'm just saying that's how I'm like I want me to be a nine to five because then when you have those moments of break. I'm there for you Depends on what you mean by there for me To hang out to spend time together because if I was like you are, I mean, I am busy, but my schedule kind of revolves

around you and the business.

So when you have free time, I just make sure that I have free time. Do you think that makes a difference then? 100%. Yeah. So yeah, we would love to hear from you guys. So I'm just going to repeat the question one more time. Please put in the comments below. Would you rather, and I'm interested, and I know I say this a lot, but the responses of men versus the responses of women, I'd love to see like what those results are. So would you rather have a successful partner, you barely see or a partner that works nine to five that you see often? So drop in the comments below people. All right, and that actually leads us to our kickoff question, which is from Rohan Wallawalk Walker from Facebook. Tom and Lisa, I'm in college and I'm really focused on doing well and achieving my academic goals in neuroscience and sociology. I have dated very sparingly before and it has not worked out. I'm in school where people are very into the dating atmosphere and are attractive as hell. I am tempted, but not sure if I should try at dating at all for fear that it will interfere with the time that I am spending on my goals. Should I? What do you think? Oh, it comes down to priorities. Like I totally think that a relationship needs time, it needs effort, it needs attention. And depending on if you want to get in a serious relationship, I think it needs all of that. If you're just looking to just like, have a fleeing and you know, have your heart like flutter and go on call dates and I would say, for it. I would never let my ambition hold me to have those types of, you know, experiences. But I think, oh God, this is tough. Because when I met you, we actually, what drew me to you and I think, few to me, is neither of us really were like taking it seriously. And I think that we were very honest because we weren't taking it seriously, because we didn't have the fear of not, of like pushing the other person away. And so it kind of just really came very organically. But if I had to choose, if I was still in college, I would choose studying for sure. And actually, I remember

dating a guy before you, the one long relationship that I had. And he was a bit of a, like, he had no ambition. He didn't have a very good job. I mean, he literally would just like do everything he could to not work. And so I always thought to myself, like, I want to be the first female movie director win the Academy Award. And here's this guy that I love, but he has no ambition, he has no drive. And I told myself at that time, I'm never gonna let him get in the way of that. Even though my heart, like, I really did think I loved him at the time, I wasn't gonna let that affect my future goal. So I would try dating and I would go and see, like if there's somebody that's right, that actually loves me for being ambition, that actually loves me for wanting a career, and then see if I can make that work. But if I kept feeling like it was always drawing me away from it because my personality was, I kept like every time you fall for a guy, you basically let everything else go, then I would just ask, ask myself that question, like, can I actually do both? And if I can't, I would choose my career. It's interesting to think of them as mutually exclusive, which they have not been in my life, but it's probably important for me to acknowledge that I never went out and like dated, if that makes sense. I wasn't big on that. I didn't chase it. You came into the school that I was teaching at. So I wasn't like going out to bars and clubs and stuff like that. So if you hadn't come into my life like that and when you came into my life, I actively was saying I'm not going to get married. I really was obsessed with my career and pushing that forward. It was in just like full disclosure. This was an example of nature making sure that it gets what it wants. It was my desire for sex that really made me open to the possibility of meeting people. Meeting you, it was like, hey, she's legally obligated to leave the country. She's a foreigner. This is fantastic. It'll be a nice, fun fling. And then you'll leave. And I didn't expect to be captured by you so completely. And then really falling for you and you're the only woman that I've ever been in love with in getting into that and being so like, this is amazing and this is really making my life better. It was like never even a thought to go, oh, I need to push her aside so that I can go pursue this thing that I love. It was everything about my life is better with this precise person. It wasn't that I felt something was missing and that I was lamenting my life before you. It was wholly hell. I thought what I was interested in was sex, but like you know me, I like to connect. So it was never meant to be just like empty one, I stands, it's never been my stick, but like finding a connection point with somebody, and then even if it is a transient encounter, that's fine, but it needed to start with some sort of connection. And then I was just like overwhelmed with how deep the connection was. So once I realized that I was into like that, there was no question I was going to have both, and I was never going to sacrifice my ambition. That was one of the first things that I told you was, look, you can ask me to change anything about myself, give up anything about myself, accept my ambition. I will never give that up. That is fundamental to who I am. I didn't have the word obsession back then and that, but to really understand now looking back at like being into something and wanting to strive for something and thinking of life like a puzzle to be solved and that I love the act of trying to solve that puzzle, you wouldn't recognize me if I didn't have that stuff. So part of what you're attracted to is that. And so that's just the foundation fundamental thing that I'm never ever ever going to give up. And you were drawn to that. And I've always said boys and girls, if you're ambitious, find a woman who had an ambitious successful father because that was something that immediately you could relate to. And so when I would take phone calls on vacations, I remember one New York trip really taxing this understanding, I don't know what other word used for it. And I just thought this woman is beyond understanding. Like, it's, I'm being ridiculous right now. Even I knew it was abusive and look, what was going on in the company at that point was it just had to be dealt with. And it was one of those terrible timing things where this is back in the software company where we're like firing the CEO. I mean, it's just crazy, crazy timing. But I was like walking at a movies that we were seeing together and leaving you alone in Times Square. I mean, it was nuts. And I just remember thinking, wow, because of your father and the way that you grew up, there was just an unnatural level of understanding that I got to reap the benefit of. But to bring it back to the question, You were going to say something. To bring it back to the question, it's, I don't think

you have to choose, but I wasn't going out of my way to date, and I would have been perfectly happy going all in on my obsession if you hadn't come across my path. What I was going to say is that actually leads us to our next question. And this is from Jessica Rooz, how do you balance your relationship as an entrepreneur when you work more hours than an average person?

And I think going back to what you were saying, you need to have an understanding between you of what is priorities and how do you deal with situations, right? So for us, it's, you're working really hard as an entrepreneur, your building a company, your hours are insane because it's not a nine to five, right? It's pretty much there's no clocking clock out for you, it's all the time. And so when it comes to our relationship, the things that we do is we sit down and make sure that we have the same goal in mind, right? So it's not like you're you're the one who's the entrepreneur and so you have a goal and then I'm just in the back seat like even if I wasn't part of the company if I had an ambitious partner and I wasn't part of the company we would still sit down and say what are the goals of the family right? Me news our relationship and me knew as the bill you plan like what is our goals?

If it is to build something to build this company that your heart and soul is in then we have to be on the same page Because there are going to be moments like in New York's or on a New York trip We're on vacation. It's our Christmas thing that we do every year and you work so much that for me was like I finally get my husband by myself and and we go to watch a Christmas movie and literally you're in the middle of firing as, you know, the CEO. And you're like, I have to take this call. So it's like, I think you're gonna pop out the movies and come back and then you just disappeared. And the movie ended and I come out of the movie theater and you're still on the phone, just giving me a look like there's nothing I can do. And so in those moments, I remind myself of what our goal

...