What up, my homies, it's Lisa here and I cannot. I literally cannot contain my excitement because guys, today's episode features a guest that has been one of my top guests of all time since I started with an impact four years ago. No freaking joke, I made a list four years ago guys and I'm telling you I just kept at it. I didn't give up, I didn't take no for an answer, I didn't accept the naysayers who thought I would never happen.

I and I'm telling you, I just kept at it. I didn't give up.

I didn't take no for an answer.

I didn't accept the naysayers who thought I would never happen. I just kept going. So honestly, this episode not only is it just amazing and I can't wait for you to hear it. It is a true testament to what it looks like when you have a goal and you have a dream and you don't give up. So guys, right now I'm talking to you, you listening.

What is that dream you have?

What is that thing that may take you five years?

The other people say, is impossible.

Let me. And give up. So guys, right now I'm talking to you, you listening. What is that dream you have?

What is that thing that may take you five years? The other people say, is impossible. Well, I'm here and living proof right here right now today that it is possible. You just got to keep at it and you can't give up. Now saying what that guys, I want to introduce you to the most amazing woman. want to be Queenpin, two Pock's Bestie, Hollywood star and Will Smith's Ride-O-Die.

That's right guys, it's the undeniable Ms. Jada Pinkett Smith is in the house. And she is here sharing the many freaking hard lessons that she learned along her journey to help you get back up when life knocks you down. We talk about everything, everything from the entanglement to the slap, to the eye roll that apparently made him do it. Jada has taken so many hits off the hits, but she has more love and more confidence and more self-acceptance than ever before. And today we're going deep to talk about the adversities she's had to face and why she's actually grateful for them. If you ever sacrifice yourself for the greater good or felt like the cause would just stack to gange to you. Then guys lean in because Jada's wisdom in this episode will speak to you. So without further ado, I am just honored to be able to say these freaking words, guys, four years in the making. Are you ready? Guys, this is Lisa Bilu with Jada Pinkasmith, a woman of impact. Let's freaking go! Both of your parents were drug addicts. You were an attempted queenpin and got held up at gunpoint. Several times. Several times. You've unfortunately battled with depression and almost took your only life by driving off a cliff. You lost one of your dearest friends to park way too soon. You have been mocked and riddled, cured and threatened. You have been blamed for every single thing that's ever happened in your relationship. Yeah. So what lessons have you learned along the journey that have allowed you to be so freaking damn confident and keep getting back on? I'm really grateful for all of the adversity that I've had is because it's really helped cure self-judgment, right? So to me, that is the greatest weapon that we allow other people to use, that we ultimately use against ourselves, is how we feel about ourselves. Once we really know who we are, and you know, are willing and have the courage to do the work, to really find out who and what we are. We start to realize that all the daggers that come from other people is their self-judgment, projected onto your self-judgment, right? That creates this cycle of self-hatred, right? And so once you, I found in my journey that once I could remedy that for myself, it helped me have compassion for what everybody else was going through that put some in the position to feel as though they need to or have the right to judge someone else because I understood how myself hatred did the same thing. So you start to realize what's true and what's not, you know, so that what people are projecting onto you is really their own stuff. And if you have your stuff cleaned up, you can see it and you can let it go, right? And so learning how to perceive things in a way that is far more healthy and far more true. But the pain, it's the pain of it all that makes you have to look for those remedies, have to look for those cures, have to look for the alternative way of living or being. But that's why I'm so grateful for the levels of discomfort that I've had in my life, right? Because at the end of the day, that's what it's all there for, right? Those discomforts, those pains, those, you know, when we get into our depressions or when we get into feeling like we don't have what it takes to get up again, right? It's like really finding that power within ourselves. It's like, no, we gotta get up again and we're gonna figure out how we're gonna stay up. You know, and so what do I have to change? So a lot of times we're looking at how do we change other people? How do we change circumstances that are outside of our control? At the end of the day, we have all the control to change whatever we need within ourselves to have the lives that we want. So the moment that we're willing to stop worrying about what other people are doing and we're focusing on what are those things within myself that I need to change to help me have the life that I want to have, help me be the person that I want to be, that's when things start clicking, that's when things start rolling. And is that what you repeat in your head in order to get back up? Because there is another part or another person who may diminish themselves more, who may actually pull back more instead of leaning into the uncomfortable. Because it sounds like, right, you're saying you just have to lean into the uncomfortable. You have to.

It's easier to point your finger at other people.

So how did you actually make that decision, sit in the uncomfortableness where so many of us wanna run? It's what I call the rock bottom, right? It's like, you know, with any addiction. I feel like we're all addicts. in one way or another. Every single person you'll ever meet.

You know, it's like, but what are we addicted to? Right?

And a lot of us are addicted to our psychological cycles. Right? And so, when I hit that rock bottom, I had to look at my psychological cycle. Right? I had to go, when has this happened before? What are those prior times before this one? And you ultimately start to realize that you are the common denominator of your experience. And I just started with, what is it that makes me so unhappy? And it was my perception. It was my perception of life. And so then I realized, oh wow, you have a lot of false beliefs. Okay, so let's start there. Let's start changing the false beliefs. The idea that your relationship is supposed to be perfect. We all have these romanticized ideas of what life is supposed to look like, what being married is supposed to be, what being a mother is supposed to be, what being successful is supposed to be. I mean, we have all of these, like, what things are supposed to be versus A. Let's look at what is. Let's see what the problems we're having with what is and how, what do I need to change within myself to get in harmony with what is? Because what is is gonna be what it is. You're right. And so I had to just start getting more real and start breaking down these romanticized, idealistic ideas of what I wanted my life to look like. I actually have a quote of yours based on the idealistic ideas that we have specifically in relationship. So we think a lot like if we love each other, we must think alike, right? If you love me, you must know exactly all of my needs at all times without me having to tell you, right? And if you don't live up to these expectations, I have the right to disrespect you, treat you like an enemy and look for what I need elsewhere because you are choosing not to give me what I need. Right? That's a real fast belief I had. And is that what you were doing with Will? Like looking to him to know all of... Oh, absolutely. Don't we all? Look to our intimate partners to be the remedy, to be the magic. I need you to be the thing. I need you to make me feel like how you made me feel the first three months of our relationship. What happened to that? You know what I mean? It's like, oh, because relationships mature.

And within relationships, we all have to emotionally mature, right? It's like the honeymoon stage can't last forever. And talking about that type of expectations and like what we have in expectation of a relationship, So thank you for breaking that down. One of the things that I found fascinating that you talk about in your story is when you are going to marry Will and you didn't actually succumb to a lot of the expectations that a lot of us and my audience do have and I'd love to kind of break down a couple of those because many people will, people please and do things. Actually you've got many stories I'd love to dive into, but that initial moment of getting married. A lot of us want to please everybody else. So we'll do what other people want. But it didn't seem like you succumb to that. So number one, you bought your own wedding ring. Yeah, I did that because I really was trying to get my head around the idea that I was going to

be married.

You know, and I was like, I got to have some kind of control around this.

So I'm just going to go get the ring.

I'm just going to, it's literally, I got up the next day and was just like, I'm just

going to go get this ring so that I can get my head around the fact I'm getting married,

but I'm going to have some kind of control over this circumstance, you know?

And so that that was what that was about, yeah.

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