With money comes more leisure time, more disposable income to spend on clothing and home decor and trips,

and all of these things that I'm not really able to do and as a person those are not things I value

but it's only when I'm comparing myself to my sisters that I wonder

am I living my life the wrong way are we still in high school where they have figured all this out and I haven't yet. the

life, are we still in high school where they have figured all this out and I haven't yet.

Welcome to How To, the show where you bring us questions

and we help you find people who have the answers. I'm Carvel Wallace. You know,

family can be really weird if you think about it. I mean these are people that know you

almost better than you know yourself or at least they think they do, people that you're going to have to deal with forever,

even if you have nothing in common with them. And people who even if you don't have anything in common with them,

they still somehow understand things about who you are that no one else

on the planet gets.

It's a complicated relationship that brings up complicated feelings, especially when it comes to feeling like you belong.

That's where we joined today's listener.

Hi, I'm Kate, and I'm here because I love my family a lot and I know they love me, but as a family we're having a hard time figuring out how to spend quality time together.

Kate currently lives in Boston. She moved there for school, met her wife, and settled down. She has two younger

sisters who were also married. Rounding out the immediate family is Kate's mom and dad.

And all of that family, parents, sisters, brothers in law,

all happened to land near Denver, halfway across the country.

As a result, they spend time together

where I am not there.

And so I think they have more familiar patterns

...