Sometimes it starts in childhood.

Adults trying to get children to behave in a certain way find that shaming them for falling short of expectations can be a quick way of getting them back in line.

But in the long run, shame as a tool of control rarely works the way we expected to,

which is not to say it doesn't have a deep and lasting effect on those subjected to it.

From KERA in Dallas, this is think. I'm Chris Boyd.

The thing about shame is that while it's tied to the ways other people disapprove of us, it eventually digs its way into our own assessments of ourselves.

It can make us feel bad, not just about a thing we did, but about who we are, as if we are

inherently unworthy of dignity or decent treatment.

My guest has thought a lot about this.

She once worked as a stripper and escort, but then returned to college and found work as an elementary school teacher and writer.

She didn't think there was anything morally wrong with freely choosing sex work as a way to make a living.

She still doesn't.

But then the New York Post published an article about her with the headline, Bronx teacher admits, I'm an ex-hooker. And as people who had

never even met her, rain down harsh judgments of her character, she found it incredibly hard to keep

the shame from soaking in. Since then, Melissa Petro has been a keen observer of how

shame works and who it's most often used against. Her new book is called Shame on You,

How to Be a Woman in the Age of Mortification. Melissa, welcome to think.

Thank you so much for having me.

Maybe you can start by telling us as much as you feel like telling us about this moment

when the past you had left behind came roaring back at you and threatened this new life you had

built for yourself.

Sure.

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