How Not To Live Through Our Kids

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood | Parenting Tips From Funny Moms

What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood

Parenting, Kids & Family, Comedy

4.6 • 962 Ratings

🗓️ 11 July 2018

⏱️ 56 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

First we’re setting aside our own hopes and dreams to have (and raise) our kids. Then we’re relentlessly mocked (perhaps correctly) for being over-invested in the fourth-grade luau. Are we living through our kids? And how do we stop? Psychologists have long said that mothers transfer our own unfulfilled ambition onto our children. “Symbolic self-completion theory” suggests that we look to our children as symbols of ourselves, and transfer our ambitions to them— which is why we’re not jealous when they get the big part in the school play; we’re a little too thrilled. Sing out Louise! But as psychologist Wendy Mogel reminds us, our children are not our masterpieces , and pushing them towards our own notions of greatness prevents them from becoming the humans they are meant to be. In this episode we discuss the pitfalls of “achievement by proxy distortion” and how to take a step back if you find yourself a little too enmeshed. Our favorite book on this topic is Leo the Late Bloomer by Robert Kraus, the story of a tiger cub who just isn’t getting it and his dad who is trying to not freak out. Recommended for kids, really recommended for parents. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Amy we are hitting the road. That is right. I'm so excited about this. What Fresh Hell Live is back. We are coming to stages around the northeast this fall and we are coming, we hope, to a city near you.
0:12.0	You can get your tickets now to see us live for a super fun mom's night out full of comedy, community,
0:19.0	and hanging out with us at every show.
0:22.0	We have not done this since before the pandemic, so we are. hanging out with us at every show.
0:22.6	We have not done this since before the pandemic,
0:24.5	so we are so excited to get back out on the road
0:27.2	and meet everybody and see you in person.
0:29.2	Ready to hear where you can find us.
0:30.5	We are going to be in Charlotte, North Carolina, Boston, Massachusetts, Washington, D.C.
0:36.2	Our nation's capital, Philadelphia, and of course our hometown of New York City.
0:41.6	You can find out all the details about the show and get your
0:44.4	tickets at what Fresh Hel Podcast.com. Click tour dates at the top. Tickets are
0:48.8	selling fast people so get yours today. It's everything you love about the
0:52.3	what fresh hell, but with 100% more us in person.
0:57.4	Get your tickets today.
0:58.4	We cannot wait to see you.
1:01.0	For me when I try to think about what makes being a parent hard, this is the center of what that thing is.
1:06.0	What fresh hell? Laughing in the face of motherhood.
1:10.0	Right, you're trying to hold both thoughts in your head at the same time, right?
1:12.7	Isn't this dumb and isn't this important?
1:14.7	With Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson.
1:17.5	We're outside observing what we're doing while we're doing it.
	...

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