This is in conversation from Apple News. I'm Julia Carpenter filling in for

Shimita Basu. Today, the hidden costs of financial trauma, and ways to cope.

When Megan McCoy was in college, she was paying her way through school by working as a waitress.

One night, she made about $70 in tips, and on her bus ride home she lost it. That stunk, like it stunked to have to eat

ramen or whatever it is, but the amount of self-negative talk that I did

afterwards like how incompetent I am, how I always am messing up with money, how I can never keep a dollar in my pocket.

Those conversations became embedded in how I saw myself.

It took 15 years for Megan to recognize the huge effect of that small

mistake. Every time someone gave me fiscal cash, I blew it immediately. These

idea of having cash on my body scared me so much

that I would end up spending it or putting it somewhere stupid

and losing it.

And so my behaviors caused a ripple effect

that caused more negative behaviors, more times

as self-blame and self-destruction.

Megan eventually became a marriage and family therapist,

specializing in financial therapy.

She's also an assistant professor at Kansas State University.

Financial therapy brings together expertise in money and mental health.

It emerged after the 2008 financial crisis when millions of people lost jobs, homes, and significant amounts of wealth.

These are all things considered financial traumas, but smaller events, like watching our parents fight about money or losing

$70 like Megan did those can be financial traumas too. When we asked you

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