This is an area we had to take to the cross to say, Lord, my fearful pleaser side is not working here in this relationship.

Her avoidant dismissive side is not working. It's a bad dance. It's crushing you probably. It was crushing.

That's Myelin Yerkovich, observing that our childhoods follow us into adulthood and into all of the relationships that we experience as adults.

And he and his wife, Kay, are back with us today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, along with Mark and Amy Cameron.

Thank you for joining us.

I'm John Fuller.

John, we had a fascinating conversation last time with our esteemed panel of guests, and we're

talking about how our earliest childhood experiences with parental love or the lack of parental

love and all the emotions that go with that, how that can imprint on us

emotional attachment issues. And last time we talked about the avoider, I think people will

probably self-identify with that. The pleaser, I tend to lean in that direction, vacillator,

controller, victim. And what we didn't mention last time was the secure connector, which is the goal.

We'll talk more about that toward the end of the program.

And that would, I think our guests would say it would be more like Jesus himself is the secure connector

because he could be healthy in all these areas.

And as we discussed last time, these styles, except for that last one,

have dysfunction attached to them. And these are the things we learn in our childhood, typically,

because of the environment we're in with our parents, with our family, etc. Those ramifications

come right into adulthood. We talked about it being the dance and how we end up stepping on each other's toes.

And couples just went, yes, that's what it feels like.

She steps on my toes or vice versa.

We're going to continue the discussion today so we can give you the tools you need to live a life that honors the Lord and honors your spouse.

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