How Gentle Touch Builds Connection

The Science of Happiness

PRX and Greater Good Science Center

Science, Social Sciences

4.4 • 1.9K Ratings

🗓️ 28 August 2025

⏱️ 21 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Research shows that simple practices such as self-hugs, soothing touch, and hand-to-heart can calm the nervous system, supporting caregivers and the children in their care.

Summary: From parents to teachers, caregiving can be overwhelming and exhausting. This episode of The Science of Happiness dives into simple touch-based strategies that promote calm, reduce stress, and foster stronger connections. Researchers share how even brief moments of self-soothing or supportive touch can improve mental and physical health for caregivers and children.

How To Do This Practice:

Sit or stand comfortably and take a moment to notice your body. Soften your jaw and shoulders. If it feels safe, close your eyes or lower your gaze.
Place one hand on your belly, both hands over your heart, or give yourself a self-hug— whatever feels most comfortable and natural. Let the weight of your hands feel steady and supportive.
Take a slow inhale through your nose and a longer exhale through your mouth.
Silently repeat a kind phrase to yourself, like “How can I be a friend to myself today?” and “It’s okay to make mistakes.”
Feel the warmth and weight of your hands. On each exhale, invite a little ease into your face, shoulders, belly, and back. Notice any tiny shift toward calm.
Wrap your arms around your torso and apply comfortable pressure, finishing with a gentle self-hug before returning to your day.

Scroll down for a transcription of this episode.

Today’s Guests:

THERESA ALEXANDER is a pre-K teacher based in Arlington, Virginia, with nearly 20 years of teaching experience. She’s also a new mother.

MICHAEL BANISSY is a psychology professor at University of Bristol and the author of “Touch Matters: Handshakes, Hugs, and the New Science on How Touch Can Enhance Your Well-Being.”

Learn more about Michael here: https://www.banissy.com/

Related The Science of Happiness episodes:

Caring for Caregivers Series: https://tinyurl.com/4k2hv47j

Related Happiness Breaks:

The Healing Power of Your Own Touch: https://tinyurl.com/y4ze59h8

Our Caring for Caregivers series is supported by the Van Leer Foundation, an independent Dutch organization working globally to foster inclusive societies where all children and communities can flourish.

To discover more insights from Van Leer Foundation and others on this topic, visit Early Childhood Matters, the leading platform for advancing topics on early childhood development and connecting diverse voices and ideas across disciplines that support the wellbeing of babies, toddlers and caregivers around the globe.

Tell us about your experience with this practice. Email us at [email protected] or follow on Instagram @HappinessPod.

Help us share The Science of Happiness! Leave us a 5-star review on Apple Podcasts and share this link with someone who might like the show: https://tinyurl.com/2p9h5aap

Transcription: https://tinyurl.com/4ppzs8kw

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	This episode is a part of caring for caregivers, a series supported by the Van Lear Foundation.
0:07.0	Last week, it rained for like way over a day, so we couldn't go out, and then we had some flooding in one of our preschool classes.
0:21.6	So we had to then take those kids and split them up between my class and their class.
0:29.6	So we just had six extra kids in class.
0:33.6	And then that added to one, just the chaos, the sound chaos alone, being stuck inside with way more kids.
0:43.3	And then that extra sensory also set off our ones who are sensory sensitive.
0:48.3	So like, then we're getting meltdowns left and right.
0:51.3	And then nap time was not much napping which is I think we need nap time
0:59.0	as caretakers when they too I'm just like no I just need quiet for a little bit when I went on my
1:07.7	break I did like deep breaths and just rubbed my belly and we're like, okay,
1:13.6	we're okay, today's almost over, we're almost home, we'll try again tomorrow.
1:23.6	From skin-to-skin contact at birth to gentle caresses in adulthood, touch is a vital human need.
1:31.8	The benefits start from the moment we're born and continue to shape how we connect with others and manage our emotions.
1:38.5	Welcome to the Science of Happiness. I'm Dr. Keltner. Touch and caregiving is an understudied area, but recent research shows
1:45.5	it can strengthen the bond between caregiver and child even before birth. It can also be
1:51.5	beneficial for caregivers themselves. Our guest this week, Teresa Alexander, was a pre-k teacher
1:57.9	based in Arlington, Virginia, with nearly 20 years of teaching experience.
2:02.4	She's also pregnant with her first child.
2:04.7	She tried a series of practices around soothing touch for our show.
2:10.1	Later, we hear from psychologist Michael Bannessy on how we can use touch to tap into a greater sense of ease and calm, even when we're alone.
2:18.8	Having a hug from someone else, it regulates your cortisol, it brings you back to baseline
2:22.4	more easily. But so does self-soothing touch. So having that hug to yourself or other forms
	...

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