How Do You Deal With a Partner Who Shuts Down When They're Mad? Episode 98

EmPowered Couples with The Freemans

Aaron & Jocelyn Freeman

Education, Society & Culture, Relationships, Self-improvement

5.0 • 589 Ratings

🗓️ 22 September 2020

⏱️ 24 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

So here you are having a conversation with your partner, then with the slightest hint of emotion arising, they shutdown. They might stop talking altogether or say "I'm not talking about this, move on" or even "get off my back". This could be because you are trying to have an important conversation with them or it can be out of the blue.

Either way, when your partner shuts down, you feel isolated, left out in the cold, or controlled because they are dictating when certain topics can be talked about. When this happens a few times you get frustrated because nothing seems to change and you are unable to make any progress together when your partner is totally unwilling to open up and let you in.

Hope is not lost (Aaron can vouch for that)! In this episode you will understand why this happens for your partner, as well as 3 things you can do differently to keep this pattern from happening. If you use these 3 things you will feel you can actually make progress in the relationship and understand more about each other's needs.

About Us:

We're The Freemans, your go-to couple for authentic and actionable relationship advice. Send us your relationship questions for the show with a DM on Instagram. As you listen to the episode, tag us on an IG story and let us know what you loved.

Resources For Your Relationship:

Pre-order our newest book, The Argument Hangover, and get over $200 of free bonus gifts (like the mini course)!
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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0	Hello and welcome to the Empowered Couples podcast. We're here you get modern, non-boring relationship
0:05.6	advice for you to communicate like pros, fight smarter, and stay on the same team with your partner.
0:11.8	No matter what challenge you face, I am one of your hosts, Aaron Freeman. And I'm Jocelyn Freeman,
0:15.8	but you all just know us as the Freeman's. Yes, and Jocelyn, what is our topic today and where
0:20.3	is it come from?
0:21.0	Well, it is how do you deal with a partner who shuts down when they're mad?
0:26.4	And this actually came from, often the D.N.
0:28.9	Me, this is literally this is my wheelhouse.
0:32.3	Partially even me, which we can talk about.
0:35.8	But it came from an Instagram message.
0:38.2	Then we took three of the most recent kind of questions we've been getting a lot and did a poll.
0:43.2	And this was by far the number one thing.
0:45.9	And so I was like, okay, this obviously is a pattern that's happening with a lot of couples.
0:50.1	So again, these topics come from you guys.
0:52.2	We're listening.
0:53.1	We respond to you.
0:54.2	We want to hear what you need.
0:55.9	And this obviously is something you guys are.
0:58.3	Yes, and this is a topic that I have some experience around, as I would say, this was more of my default, certainly early on, and something I can default to for myself.
1:08.5	So I'm excited to dive in.
1:09.9	And before we do that that I just wanted to
1:11.6	say thank you to everyone that is listening that is messaging us and writing a review because this
	...

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