meta_pixel
Tapesearch Logo
Log in
Adulting with Michelle Buteau and Jordan Carlos

How Do I Keep Up With the Constant Texting!? (Hint: Don't!) feat. Mike Yard

Adulting with Michelle Buteau and Jordan Carlos

iHeartPodcasts

Comedy, Kids & Family

4.83.3K Ratings

🗓️ 16 August 2023

⏱️ 41 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Michelle and Jordan catch up at the Bell House stage with comedian / writer / friend Mike Yard. Jordan flawlessly impersonates his therapist while also sharing helpful tips, Mike transports the audience from St. Croix to East NY, and Michelle takes a minute when an audience question nearly breaks her.

This episode was recorded before the SAG-AFTRA strike. #Noscabbing!

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Nicole Buyers shares the media have a podcast called Best Friends where they talk about everything from sex to food to how does everyone else put their bra on they take Buzzfeed quizzes Google the answer to age old questions and answer listener questions about friendship.

0:12.6

Join your new best friends and listen to best friends wherever you listen to your podcast.

0:16.6

I'm Candace DeLong and on my new podcast Killer Psychy Daily I share a quick 10 minute rundown every weekday on the motivations and behaviors of the cold blooded killers you read about in the news.

0:29.0

Listen to the Amazon Music exclusive podcast Killer Psychy Daily in the Amazon Music app download the app today.

0:37.0

What is good? You know what's good? I'm finally starting to be comfortable taking my kids to a nice restaurant because I'm paying for it and I'm okay taking that iPad out.

0:52.0

You know why? I got to get through the skirt steak bitches. I need my me time to.

0:57.0

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

1:20.0

Let me ask you a question though. How many dishes are you preparing for dinner? Oh, it's very simple. We got a protein. We got a car but starch and we have vegetables. That's how we roll.

1:32.0

Okay. Once in a while, we'll do like a spaghetti, like a bolo, a bolognese. Sure.

1:36.0

Where you just really sneak in the vegetables. Oh, I feel you. I prepared dinner last night for my kids and wow.

1:44.0

Grilled the corn, grilled the chicken, BBQ, always better because there's less cleanup. Yes. And my son was just like, I don't like barbecue.

1:52.0

Oh no, it's so delicious. What do you mean? What? Do they help you? Do they help me? My daughter's really into like, I want to help you.

2:00.0

That's so great. Sometimes if the stars are aligned, if the wind is just right. Oh my god. Then they'll be like, hum. Mercury's out of retrograde.

2:08.0

The Jupiter's son is along the Mars moon. Yeah. And I just go into like a flood connection fit. I don't know how to like handle them, maybe helping me.

2:18.0

I'm like, just stand over there. Sometimes it does feel like B T's comic view, like a comic set from like just a chiller circuit back in the digs. I'm like, these kids got too many choices.

2:32.0

I don't remember having that many choices. It's like, this is on a plate and this is what you get. I think with food allergies and such, we could be more sensitive.

2:42.0

I want them to have a good experience eating and maybe they'll come later and like, what can I say? I didn't even like wine till I was like 26.

2:50.0

You didn't like wine to your 26? Wow. I didn't like oysters. So I was like 31. Sometimes it just takes time. I see these kids out here like 13 years old drinking coffee.

3:00.0

You doing what? It's not even like mocha with like diabetes on top and with green. It's just like straight up coffee.

3:09.0

And did you know the drinking age in Holland is 16? Is it don't quote me?

3:14.0

Oh my gosh, your kids are 12 years away from just knocking them back.

3:18.0

I know. I can't wait. It's like go get mama the next round. I have two beautiful black dogs, right? I always wish that I had like the dogs that would be chill.

...

Please login to see the full transcript.

Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from iHeartPodcasts, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.

Generated transcripts are the property of iHeartPodcasts and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.

Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.