How Did You Talk Your Way Out of GETTING KILLED?
Am I the Genius?
amithejerk.com
4.6 • 769 Ratings
🗓️ 2 July 2025
⏱️ 20 minutes
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| 0:00.0 | How did you talk your way out of getting killed? |
| 0:04.2 | I'm 19. First time in Europe, started in Italy visiting relatives, and on the first night I went |
| 0:09.5 | out for a walk. A group of guys looking like trouble pushed me around and then showed me their |
| 0:14.0 | switchblades, demanding money, which I seemed to obviously have since I stood out as a foreigner |
| 0:19.0 | by my clothes. Except all I had on me was |
| 0:21.7 | 20 euros and a Johnny, because I was so naive from hearing how easy it was to get tail |
| 0:26.9 | in Europe, I was expecting local girls to just see me and approach me to get busy. And I explained |
| 0:33.1 | as such to these guys in my broken 1960s Italian gleaned from my parents. They laughed their butts off |
| 0:39.8 | and wished me luck. Cousin with mental health issues threw a table at me, but missed. He grabbed |
| 0:46.1 | the leg and put me to the ground and shouted, I'm going to freaking kill you, smash your skull. |
| 0:51.5 | And I responded with, if you're going to do that, let's not do it in front |
| 0:55.0 | of our family. It worked. I was babysitting from my cousins, aged five and three. I was 14 at the time. |
| 1:03.1 | The five-year-old found his dad's gat and was waving it around like a toy. He was pointing it |
| 1:08.0 | at things and pretending to blast them, not putting his finger on the trigger, |
| 1:11.4 | thankfully. |
| 1:12.4 | At one point, he pointed it at me and pretended to be a bank robber. |
| 1:16.4 | I told him if he handed me the piece, he'd get the package of Oreos on the counter, and we could all have some. |
| 1:21.8 | It actually worked, and I stuck the weapon on a high shelf until my aunt and uncle came home. |
| 1:27.0 | As it turned out, it was loaded. |
| 1:29.3 | My aunt made my uncle buy a safe and put all the weapons in the garage after that. |
| 1:34.3 | In short, for the love of God, don't leave your pieces where your young children can find them. |
| 1:39.3 | No matter how much you tell them it's not a toy, they'll still treat it like a toy. |
... |
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