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Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Hello! Hello, it's me! Joe Wizard Jack Skellington!

And I'm here to usher you in to the greatest store of all time, Hot Topic! Hey everybody, it's me, Joe Wizard Jack Skellington, and I'm here to usher you in to the greatest store of all time. Hot topic.

Hey, everybody, it's me, your very upset parent bruiser, Jake, and I want to know why you sold my child this bottle of purple temporary hair color.

How dare you defy my will as a parent and give my child even the minorous sliver of self-expression.

Let me smoke cigarettes, Mom. Let me smoke cigarettes. I'm the Brewser Rebel kid who wants to walk

through the gates of hell and fucking wears some chains on my pants. Holden McNeely. Yeah,

that's right. That's me. I am the, uh, I'm the, come on, Mom, let me smoke a cigarette, please. You're going to trip all over yourself with those pants. It's too many belts, I tell you. Too many belts. Wait, has a child ever been like, oh, come on, Mom, let me smoke. Is that a a part of it? In the 50s, probably. In the 50s, probably. I'm just trying to go back to where I was when I was the age that, like, hot topic was the most important thing to the youth. And I definitely, all I wanted was to smoke cigarettes. That's all I wanted to do. I didn't care where I found them.

I wanted to go to a Green Day concert,

and I wanted to smoke a cigarette afterwards

that hopefully an adult would give me.

Right.

Yeah, no, I just, I,

for me, I remember just like you lied

...