What up homie! So I recently heard that women are actually twice as likely to have boring sex. Guys, what the hell? That ain't right! And I'm not going to accept it. So today on Women of Implant, I'm actually bringing on the incredible Dr Mindy Pelt and getting the 411 on how to actually have the most amazing sex ever, because ladies will gotta start owning it. You have the power to love hard and to feel damn sexy. And in this two-pot conversation Mindy shares a whole new way to turn up the pleasure and the confidence to have satisfying sex that you actually wish that you see in movies movies and that you actually deserve. Not to mention after this episode you'll be ready to have the tips and tactics you need in order to spice up your sex life. So guys are you ready to see how the most annoying time of the month is actually the key to better sex, better relationships, better confidence and and actually the better you. I'm Recibili and this episode is about to supercharge your sex life. So let's freaking go. This is where feminism got it wrong. Rosie the River was like we can do it and we should have put a little abstract. We can do it during this time of your cycle. If understood the hormonal differences between men and women. We could strengthen our relationships. Women are twice as likely to find sex more boring. A woman's sexual drive is largely enhanced by a mutually speechless Dr. Mindy here. There's a hormone expert best selling all of it. She has changed the lives of millions of women. 70% of the voices over the age of 40 are actually initiated by women. After 40, a very specific estrogen is going down and it's called estradiol. Sometimes we decide we need to leave our marriages and sometimes we leave life. The most common time for a woman to commit suicide is from 45 to 55. Two major hormones are exiting. Your brain is operating differently. Conversations like this to me are life-saving. So here's how the cycle works. This is the one that upsets everybody. I read a study from the New York Post that said that women are twice as more likely to find sex more boring than men. And so what I want to know is as a woman, how do we actually start to work on our sex hormones, boost them so that we can have like just mind-blowing sex and really build that incredible desire? Yeah. For a play, starts at breakfast. If you want to have sex with a woman, you better start for play. If you wanna have it at night after dinner, it's gotta start at breakfast. And here's why. A woman's sexual drive is largely enhanced by when she is in her prefrontal cortex. When she's in that place of hope and possibility and thinking about the world in a much bigger way, she's going to want to connect with you more. When she's in her amygdala, the stress part of her brain, all of her sexual desire shuts down. So think about a woman who's working all day long. She's at work, stresses high, she's in her migdala, she's the wrong time of her cycle, she comes home and now her spouse wants to have sex. There is nothing about her brain that wants you to touch her at all. So, you're going to need to move her back into a prefrontal cortex by saying nice things to her, asking her about her day, like maybe a foot rub, like you're gonna have to move her to the right part of her brain. And if you match that with the right time of her cycle, A, she's gonna want to have sex more with you and for the woman, she's gonna enjoy sex more. So the first thing that women need to know is if they're cycling. So this would be women who are in their fertility years or paramanopausal women. Typically you get testosterone at one time out of the month, which is from about day 10 to day 15 of a woman's cycle. When testosterone comes in, your libido is going to be high. Now, the thing that's also happening at that time of a woman's cycle is that estrogen is at her peak, okay? So estrogen makes us very social and makes us want to connect verbally connect. So let's start with that. Estrogen makes us very verbal processors. So well, not to that thought for a moment. And then wherever estrogen goes, oxytocin is. So in this five day period of our cycle, we have libido, we have ability to use both sides of our brain ability to have great verbal connection. And we've got oxytocin that makes us want to bond. So when it comes to sex, we are ready to go during ovulation if you are still ovulating. So in order to have great sex, you want to use those hormones to your advantage. So do it during that time, which leads to the challenging question, which is most women don't do it during that time because they don't want to get pregnant if they're in childbearing years. But we are hormonally ready to go during that five day window. So, that's the first thing to think about. The second thing to think about for all women, and this is my favorite statement that I tell everybody is, when we don't understand our hormones, behaviors show up that we actually start to own and think it's our problem. Let's use libido as an example. So let's say you're with a man and he has a much higher libido, which makes sense because he's getting testosterone every 15 minutes, he's getting a pulse of testosterone. You're getting it five days out of the month. And so you're like start to think to yourself, wait a second, what's wrong with me? Why am I not attracted to my husband? Why don't I wanna have sex with him? And he seems to wanna have sex with me a lot more than I wanna have sex with him. And when you like stop and you think about it, actually that's how we were hormonally designed. And so let's use our hormones to strengthen this relationship, but we have to know that our hormones are gonna do something as simple as change our sexual appetite and look, we have to look at it from a different direction. Okay, I just wanna pause for a second. You said, men get it every 15 minutes, and women get it every five days out of a month. Yes, that's a massive gap. Right there. Massive gap, massive gap. And women don't understand it. And so, and men don't understand it. I was recently lecturing at a conference in Norway, and there were so many men in the room. And when I sat down and explained the menstrual cycle, I explained menopause, I talked about the hormonal differences. I had more men come up to me afterwards and just say, thank you, I totally understand my wife now. I really appreciate you just saying what you said. And I'm going to go teach my son. And it was like all of a sudden I had this elevated thought of if we understood the hormonal differences between men and women, we could strengthen our relationships with men as women and men you could strengthen your relationships with women. But you have to understand the hormonal difference first. Yeah, I love that because I think in with what we're talking about, it isn't just us understanding ourselves, which we're going to go so deep into our cyclone and all of that. But to your point, if we understand men and they're, oh, where do we like it? Right. Every 15 minutes. They're going to get a dose of testosterone. again, I think women, we do joke behind the scenes about guys and it's like, he's always horny. We kind of dismiss it now because of it, but actually when you think about it being a hormonal thing, then you can to your point figure out how you can start to dance in a beautiful way. So talk to me about in these five days, what is happening from an attractive standpoint and an attracted standpoint? Oh my gosh, that's such a good point. Because this is another one. And I wanted to say for my menopausal friends out there, sit tight because one thing that's really important to understand is if you understand your hormones when you were cycling, you'll understand why menopause has been so difficult and why post-menopausal years are so challenging. So for starters, let's talk about the hormones that come in during this five-day period. Estrogen is at her peak. Okay, so let's think of the biology of this. So why does estrogen peak at that time? Well, you need enough estrogen for an egg to be released. But this is how brilliant the body was designed. This is why as women, we are so wickedly powerful, if we just understood ourselves, we would blow our own minds. So estrogen comes in to release this egg, but then she makes your skin very smooth. She makes your hair, if you have curly hair, like curly and full. All the mucosal membranes plump up. Why? Because now you look attractive so that you, because you were designed to procreate, whether you decide to make that decision or not, you were designed what an egg is released to be more attractive to attract a mate so that you would reproduce so the species would continue forward. That's how incredible you were designed. But the other part of that is you also got testosterone, which not only improved your libido, but it improves your motivation and drive. So you're looking better, everything's fuller, you're more attractive, you have more of a desire to want to connect with a mate, and whether it's a man or a woman, you have more of a desire to connect, and all the sudden right acytosin comes in, and so you are like looking around for that connection. And from the other perspective looking in, you're a lot more attractive during that time. Estrogen helps to create serotonin and dopamine. So you're happy. You're happy, your hair looks great, your skin looks great, you want to connect, you're motivated, you have libido, come on. Like who doesn't want to hang out with us during that time? Right? So, A, we need to know that. And then, men, even in same-sex relationships, if you realize that there's an ebb and flow to this attraction, this hormonal magnification that happens in us, then even something that's like complement us during that time, or just acknowledge how powerful we are during this five day period, and now we've brought the conversation together, we haven't separated it out or repelled it. But we're so freaking smart. A book We're so smart. I love how you broke that down.

And then my next question then goes to, in the opposite moments, right, someone gives

you a compliment because you feel so great. You in this five-day period, like, I know, I'm frickin' more far away. And you got really that cockyness, yeah. Exactly. You get more confident, I think. Yeah. But then there were other moments where a guy may compliment you

and this, oh, you look really nice

and it's like, what, I didn't look like nice yesterday.

And so we're all interested.

So we'll talk to me though about that. And then there were other moments where a guy may compliment you and this, are you really really nice? It's like, what?

I didn't look like nice yesterday.

And so we're interested.

So we'll talk to me though about that time of the month where now you're more irritable.

Things don't sit well with you. In fact, actually, probably behooves us to go through the cycle. Yeah, we should go through some of that. because the reason why I want to bring this point up is

if you feel really confident in one day

and you feel amazing and then a few days later,

you feel really bad and you're irritable,

it is because of your home, my side core.

And it isn't because you're going crazy or that like your moody I mean maybe you are in a mood but I think again we bucket people into the well she's a bitch. Right right yeah and there's certain times of the month we're supposed to be a bitch. Oh, let's talk about it. Yeah. So, I guess you're formally designed. We're formally designed to have a bitchy time. And we're formally designed to be loving and nurturing and really sweet. That's how we are designed. So if you're having trouble understanding us, it understand our hormones again. And then you'll understand why our personality changes And I think we should walk through the cycle. I think that's the best way to understand it. The one comment I really want to make on this, that for the younger audience listening, I have a 23 year old daughter and we talk hormones a lot. And she was just noticing how her moods were up and down and she was very irritable one day. And of course, lashed out at mom because that's a safe place to do it. And she came back to me later and she's like, I'm so sorry, like two days later, she said, I'm so sorry. I don't know why, like, I just get irritable and I'm so emotional. And I turned her and I said, because you're a woman. That's why you were designed to be emotional. So I get it and we can, on those bad days, we can have a better conversation, but don't shy away from how you were designed. And I think that is like men are very linear and they're very steady, Eddie kind of mentality and women were like, your best friend friend and then we hate you. That's because that's how we're designed. So I just had to put that out there to free people from thinking that there's something wrong with them when they're happy one day and sad the next. Okay. So here's how the cycle works. Day one through day 10, you're building estrogen. When when estrogen is building, usually it takes a couple of days to transition from, you know, the PMS and the week before into actually bleeding. But the first two days of our cycle is actually a really interesting time period because all the hormones have crashed and estrogen is about to build. And so in those first two days, you actually have the most access to the right and the left brain in the first two days of your cycle. And that's as in the first two days is like, the first days when you start to bleed. Yeah. When you start to bleed. Good point, because most people don't know what day one of their cycle is. Day one of your cycle is when you bleed. Those first two days you are going to be highly intuitive. You are because you have access to both sides of your brain before your body starts to build estrogen for the days following that. Great time to like listen to that inner voice on those first two days because hormonally you are getting more access to more parts of your brain. And how can we use that? Because as we go through this, I want to be able to say, how do we use that in the real world? So how do we use to say those first two days knowing that we are both sides of our brain are active. And we're more intuitive. What do you suggest that we can do in the real world? Yeah. Well, if you're an entrepreneur, you know, you want to create something, go within. This is a time to go within and think about what perhaps you want to create in your business. You could do the same thing with yourself, what you want to create in your life. I've been deeply thinking lately about a question for my own self, which that actually my therapist asked me and I couldn't answer, which was, who's the authentic version of you? Who is the real Mindy? Who's the real version if you take all the external away? Who is that authentic person in there? And I couldn't answer it. I couldn't give a label to it. So now, thinking that through those, if I had a cycle, those first two days would be a good time to go within and ask those deep questions of yourself because you have more access to your brain, so you might have a greater ability to answer them. Okay, and then in those first two days, how is your relationship, let's say you're with a partner, how does that impact them? Are you more likely to be more distant to them or actually more connected to them? When we go all the way through the cycle, if you do the back half of the cycle really well, once your period starts, it's kind of a non-event. But most women would tell you, that's not my period. My period, the first two days, I'm like, get away. And I think the getaway idea is because you didn't rest and recover the week before your period, mixed with this highly intuitive time which would make you more inner. So for the partner, what I'd want the partner to know is to listen to us and see what we need. But most likely we're gonna still need to be a little bit separate and not in the group or not in relationship with you because we're still in this very inner place. But if you do the back half of your cycle right, once your period starts, it doesn't, what we're seeing is that women don't typically have tough cycles.

So, which is really interesting. So, anyway, so that's the first two days. But what I want people to know most the time is that, or the most important part of that first 10 days is estrogen's building. And what's really neat about estrogen is that she is, it does so many things for us, like helps make serotonin and makes dopamine and makes acetylcholine, which helps us cognitively and helps stimulate BDNF, which makes it a great time to learn. So after we finish the first two days of being more inner, we actually come out and we're much more outer and we want to socialize and we want to connect and we can court as all of court, if stress is high, estrogen isn't care. And so all of a sudden we can stress out and estrogen is like no problem. I got it. Like I can still show up in all my glory and we can still be outgoing. We can still take over the world because I gave you all these other neurotransmitters when I decided to show up. The greatest version of your life could show up during that 10 days because you will have so many neurochemicals that are appearing. So the other thing about that time period is this is where fasting works and this is where the ketogenic diet worked for women and this is where exercising hard works for women. Like weights. Yeah. Yeah, like we could were meant to be more outward once estrogen starts to build. It's when we start to go through the rest of the cycle that everything changes. So, but does that make sense? Yeah, I love that. And then I'm going to want to re-link it to, Okay, so that's the moment that you can lift heavy weights, go hard to the gym, go hard in your business, I assume, do those deals that maybe you're nervous to make or you've just got them more confidence. Okay, and then what about the dynamic in your relationship? Yeah, so again, we're going to be great verbal processors. So the interesting one on this is I had a father come to me one day and asked me, he was struggling with his teenage daughter. And he's like, I just can't seem to get through to her. And I said, well, when are you talking to her? Do you know what part of her cycle you're talking to her at? And he's like, no, why would that be important? And I said, because you need her hormones to be in the right place in order to actually get, especially a teenage brain, get into her brain to be open enough to be able to talk to you. And so those 10 days, as estrogen is building, you're going to see a much more open and receptive human. And if you have a conflict, if you're trying to get with a woman and get to her heart or have a deeper experience with her, that first half is when you want to do it, not the back half. Does that make sense? I love that. So I tend to think of it like we are just, we come out of our shell and we're like, here, connect with us, be with us. I wanna laugh with you. I wanna dream up wild dreams with you. I wanna have a relationship with you. That's what estrogen is saying. And so, but then when we get at the back half, when we get into progesterone, progesterone saying, leave me alone. And I just need to nurture myself right now. Don't give me any stress. I'm just in a more intermoved. Okay, so those 10 days, it's crush at work. Yeah, have those health conversations with your pa on going dates? That would be one of the better times. When we get to ovulation, that's our super power moment. All right, so. I love it. I'm such a geek. I love it so much.

Yeah, but we are much more gregarious.

Yeah. And for what women, I called it the power phase in fast like a girl, because anything you want to power up on power up during that time, you're a hormone, you are locked and loaded, your hormones are going to be ready to go in these power phases. So use them to your advantage. Use them to your advantage.

Yeah.

Love it.

Yeah.

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