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The One You Feed

Hilary Jacobs Hendel on How to Process Our Emotions

The One You Feed

Eric Zimmer

Education, Self-improvement, Religion & Spirituality, Health & Fitness, Buddhism, Mental Health

4.62.5K Ratings

🗓️ 4 December 2018

⏱️ 50 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Hilary Jacobs Hendel is a psychotherapist who switched from practicing traditional talk psychotherapy to accelerated experimental dynamic psychotherapy. She teaches us that our core emotions are automatic and grounded in universal physical experiences. Her new book is called, It’s Not Always Depression: Working The Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to your Authentic Self. In this episode, she goes into great instructional detail about how to identify and process your emotions in the moment. If you’ve ever felt a strong emotion (and who hasn’t), this episode will teach you how to move through it skillfully, rather than having your strong emotions wreak havoc in yourself and with others. 

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In This Interview, Hilary Jabobs Hendel and I Discuss…

  • Her new book, It’s Not Always Depression: Working The Change Triangle to Listen to the Body, Discover Core Emotions, and Connect to your Authentic Self
  • The 7 C’s of our authentic self
  • The science and biology of emotions
  • The change triangle
  • The Core Emotions: Fear, Anger, Sadness, Disgust, Joy, Excitement and Sexual Excitement
  • The 3 Inhibitory Emotions: Anxiety, Guilt, and Shame
  • How core emotions have energy and want to come up and out- to be expressed
  • Inhibitory emotions dampening our core emotions 
  • The difference between defenses and inhibitory emotions
  • How to work The Change Triangle
  • Trauma vs trauma
  • The power of naming your emotions
  • Our open-hearted state
  • When our emotions overwhelm us, it can be helpful to have someone else process them
  • Grounding and breathing
  • The role of core emotions is to ready us for action so they are first physical sensations, traveling from the brain down the vegus nerve
  • All core emotions have impulses associated with them
  • How harmful self-criticism and self-judgment can be
  • Relating to ourselves as a small child
  • Healthy shame vs toxic shame


Hilary Jacobs Hendel Links

Homepage

Twitter

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

core emotions are first and foremost physical experiences.

0:12.6

Welcome to the One You Feed. Throughout time, great thinkers have recognized the importance of

0:17.7

the thoughts we have, quotes like garbage in, garbage out, or you are what you think, ring true.

0:24.8

And yet, for many of us, our thoughts don't strengthen or empower us. We tend toward negativity,

0:30.8

self-pity, jealousy, or fear. We see what we don't have instead of what we do. We think things that

0:37.6

hold us back and dampen our spirit. But it's not just about thinking. Our actions matter. It takes

0:44.0

conscious, consistent, and creative effort to make a life worth living. This podcast is about how

0:49.8

other people keep themselves moving in the right direction. How they feed their good wolf.

1:08.9

Are you hungry for the Inside Scoop of Women's Soccer? I'm Sam Ues and I'm Lynn Williams.

1:13.6

And we're professional soccer players, best friends, and the hosts of snacks, the only women's

1:18.4

soccer podcast hosted by active players that gets into the most recent news, gossip, and fun

1:23.2

of the end of the cell, the women's national team, and the delightful, delicious world of snacks.

1:27.8

It's a weekly show that features great guests from the world of women's soccer, recaps and

1:31.6

previews of the biggest matches, and the two of us hanging out with you. Listen to stacks on the

1:36.0

iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts. Thanks for joining us. Our

1:41.9

guest on this episode is Hillary Jacobs' Hendle, a psychotherapist who switched from practicing

1:47.1

traditional talk psychotherapy to accelerated experimental dynamics psychotherapy. She teaches us that

1:53.8

our core emotions like joy, anger, sadness, fear, and excitement are automatic and universal

2:00.8

physical experiences, which is firmly grounded in neuroscience. Her new book is It's Not Always

2:07.2

Depression, which was the award winner of the 2018 Best Book Award for Psychology and Mental Health

2:13.6

as sponsored by the American Book Fest. Hi Hillary, welcome to the show. Thank you,

2:18.5

Eric. I'm so happy to be here. I'm really excited to talk with you about your book called It's Not

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