Welcome to Back from the Abyss. This is a place for stories of hope and healing, recovery, and redemption. I'm Dr. Craig Hecock. Before we start today's story,

I wanted to announce that Hillary McBride and I will again be teaching our intensive seminar

on transference and countertransference for clinicians. It's called I love you, I hate you,

are you my mom? It's going to take place this February in Joshua Tree,

California. Check out my website, Craig Hecock.m.D.com for more details and registration. We still have a few

slots open. In today's story, we explore what it's like to be on the autistic spectrum, and more

specifically, how a later

life diagnosis can totally change the way you view the world and yourself.

Arelli, our storyteller today, was an autism expert.

She was a clinical psychologist who had trained with some of the premier autism experts

in the country, yet she didn't discover her own autism until

she was 40 years old. This episode explores why women on the spectrum are so often missed,

how women on the autistic spectrum are often masters of masking, which means imitating the

mannerisms and behaviors of neurotypical people,

thus allowing them to both fit in and also to be left hiding in plain sight.

A final note here. Throughout the recording,

Arelli was using a little plastic toothpick as a fidget object,

and as we recorded, I didn't realize how much this would show up on the recording, so when you listen to Arelli and you hear a little tap, tap, tap in the background,

that's her little soothing toothpick.

I had a son who was already diagnosed autistic, and I had coughed that off to his father's genetics, but my daughter went to middle school

and within, it was a large public middle school and within three months her mental health

just tanked, got her evaluated. She was identified as autistic and ADHD.

...