Help! I Love My Abusive Husband So Much! [244]
Flying Free
Natalie Hoffman
5 • 1K Ratings
🗓️ 10 October 2023
⏱️ 44 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Today I’m answering some more listener questions, including, “What do I do when I love my abusive husband so much?” “Should I give my abusive husband resources and books to read about his abuse?” and “Can my abusive husband change?” I KNOW you’ve thought of that last question yourself, so stick around, and let’s have a conversation about these important topics.
Key Points From This Episode:
- An analogy about Grown Man, Grown Woman, and Little Boy.
- How to break the cycle of abuse.
- Why leaving your books about emotional abuse lying around the house may not be the best idea.
- Why OCD, narcissism, and other personality disorders do not excuse abusive behavior.
Read the show notes and/or ask Natalie a question here
If you are a Christian woman who thinks you may be in an emotionally destructive marriage, learn more at https://flyingfreenow.com
I'll send you (free!) the first chapter of my book, Is It Me? Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage, which has an assessment to help you figure out if your relationship is abusive or not. All you have to do is hop on my mailing list.
You can also find out about our online education and support program for women of faith at https://joinflyingfree.com
And finally, if you are a divorced Christian woman who wants to take back her life and get healthy, lose weight, have amazing relationships, get things done, build a business or career, and even find a good man (if you want one) - check out Flying Higher.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Hi, this is Natalie Hoffman of Flying Free Now. And you're listening to the |
| 0:09.3 | Flying Free Podcast, a support resource for Women of Faith, looking for hope and healing from hidden |
| 0:16.4 | emotional and spiritual abuse. |
| 0:18.6 | Welcome to episode 244 of the Flying Free Podcast. Today we are going to answer some |
| 0:28.4 | listener questions so let's dive in. I am trying to convince myself that divorce or official separation is the right option, |
| 0:40.8 | but I still love my husband dearly. The red flag that popped up recently is he is refusing to allow our seven-year-old to go to therapy for anxiety and trauma and he says if I push it then he'll stop going to his own therapy and now that he's in therapy himself meaning he's gone to one session instead of just agreeing to it, |
| 1:06.2 | saying he'll go and stalling and not making the appointment, but now that he's made the appointment, |
| 1:12.4 | I need to put in a lot more effort in our relationship to match the effort that he's putting in when he doesn't want to be in therapy in the first place. |
| 1:21.0 | Our apartment is a triggering place for me to be. I can't be there for more than a few days without being |
| 1:28.3 | completely overwhelmed even if it is tidy and clean and organized. |
| 1:33.3 | So I'm living with my parents, but he refuses to spend time at my parents' house, |
| 1:38.9 | and yet says we can't work on our marriage |
| 1:42.1 | if we're not spending time together, which I agree on that. |
| 1:45.9 | But I just, I shut down when I'm at our apartment and I don't know what our options are. |
| 1:52.0 | I just, I want to do what's right for my family, for my kids especially, but I love him. |
| 1:58.7 | I love him so much and I feel stuck. |
| 2:03.0 | Sometimes it's hard for us to see the truth when we're living in the middle of it. |
| 2:08.0 | So when I'm working with women in the forum, |
| 2:10.0 | they'll often express how stuck they feel because the way they see themselves and the things |
| 2:15.8 | that they believe about themselves are all mixed up with so many lies that they've either |
| 2:21.6 | grown up believing that were embedded into their |
| 2:23.8 | programming as children or that have been programmed into them as an adult through various |
... |
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