‘He Had My WIFE As His Screensaver!!’ The Pitfalls of being a Sex Symbol
The Therapy Crouch
Therapy Crouch
4.7 • 3.7K Ratings
🗓️ 3 February 2026
⏱️ 42 minutes
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Summary
On today’s episode of The Therapy Crouch, things go from hilarious to heartwarming as Abbey and Peter dive into a chaotic mix of birthday surprises, burnt chocolate cats, and alien conspiracies.
From a charity lunch that ended in shots and Scouse storytelling to Peter’s “notes app revelation” and Abbey’s laser-focused hen do planning, this episode is jam-packed with relatable rants, golden anecdotes, and off-the-cuff laughs.
Pete reflects on the strange phenomenon of being married to a sex symbol (while being shabbered in public toilets), and Abbey shares her intense need to over-plan every detail of life—while Pete floats in football-induced chaos.
They also go deep on aliens, robot dogs, and conspiracy theories, questioning whether Jeff Bezos might be one of them.
Meanwhile, listeners write in with snoring scandals, regrettable screen-savers, and shocking first-time confessions.
As always, it’s candid, chaotic, and comfortingly unfiltered.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | There was a man standing in front of me with Abby as his lock screen on his phone. |
| 0:05.0 | You're a sex symbol, babe. |
| 0:06.4 | A sex symbol? |
| 0:07.6 | Are you fucking joking? |
| 0:08.6 | What do you think about then all day? |
| 0:11.0 | Be it, it's bad to. |
| 0:12.6 | I'll tell you right now. |
| 0:13.9 | Be it a tis and bans. |
| 0:17.6 | Hello, guys. |
| 0:18.5 | This is that part in the podcast where we ask you to subscribe. It does make a big difference to our podcast and we'd like you to make a bit difference. So press it. Hello and welcome to The Therapy Crouch with me, Abby Clancy. But me, Peter Crouch. And I'm up, have we? Now I'm away now, yeah, sorry, miles away. Do we text? Are we texting there? |
| 0:39.0 | El, you asked me to text, Elle. |
| 0:41.2 | Oh, wow, that was efficient. It's delicious. Oh, well, Pete did say to me, right, do you know what I need to do now? I've realised what my flaws are. I need to start writing things down. He said, because when you ask me to do something and like send a text or whatever, |
| 0:53.0 | then I go onto my messages, |
| 0:54.1 | see five other messages and do that |
| 0:56.0 | and then don't end up doing. |
| 0:57.8 | I get you. something and like send a text or whatever then I go on to my messages see five other |
| 0:55.2 | messages and do that and then don't end up doing I get you I don't want to be this person |
| 1:00.0 | yeah that I'm being portrayed to be and I am in fact but um because what happens is I don't know |
| 1:07.4 | I don't know if anyone else is like this but if you go right can you message so and so go on to you because I don't know if anyone else is like this. But if you go, right, can you message so and so, go on to you, because I don't have notifications coming up. When I go into my WhatsApp, I'll have loads there. So then I'll go into it, I'll go into it with a specific job and do five other things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, Steeleys text me. What does he want? Oh, I wonder what you're much. Oh, I wonder what that is. Meanwhile, the golf trips planned itinerary. |
| 1:31.0 | That, I mean yeah. Oh, he's text me. What does he want? Yeah. Oh, I wonder what he was. |
| 1:28.5 | Oh, I wonder what that is. Meanwhile, the golf trips planned it. |
| 1:30.2 | Yeah, yeah, yeah. |
... |
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