Welcome to Love and Abuse, the show about helping you identify poisonous communication and toxic behavior.

You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness.

That's why it's important that you learn to pinpoint manipulative and controlling behavior

so that you keep your power and your sanity.

I'm your host, Paul Koliani.

Music power and your sanity. I'm your host, Paul Koliani. Hey, I hope you're doing well.

This episode of love and abuse, I want to talk about change and how someone says they're changing

and you're not sure if that's true.

And this usually happens in emotionally abusive relationships when you're with someone

that says, you're right, I'll never do that again.

Or I promise I'll change. Or I promise I'll change or I promise I'm

going to therapy tomorrow we get these promises or these declarations that

someone is going to do something or someone appears to be changing but we're not

sure if it's going to last. So in the emotionally abusive

relationship, the change is usually dictated like a roller coaster, like an emotional

roller coaster. And that effect of up and down, like today they're nice, tomorrow they're

controlling. Today they're nice. Next week, they're mad or angry

or saying something that's making us feel bad about ourselves. This is what happens in the

emotionally abusive relationship is that we think someone's changing and then they are exactly

who we want them to be for a few days and then they're exactly

the opposite and they're back to their old selves and we don't know what to do about it. So when

you're in this situation, it's hard to tell what changes are real and what aren't. And so that's kind of what I want to address today,

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