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Morning everybody, welcome along to your free podcast for today.

It's Thursday, the 9th of June 2016, and as we celebrate celebrate Christmas and we welcome you to the wonderful world

of carols all together, hark the Herald angels sing, glory, oh maybe not. Perhaps we'll save it for tomorrow.

I do, that would be my ultimate fantasy. My ultimate fan, well, not my ultimate fantasy, that's

something completely different, but the ultimate fantasy would be to have all my family around for Christmas. And generally speaking, if we sort of mass them up of it, I think the most we've had is about 12, 13 for Christmas Day. We generally go to a hotel or somewhere else like that because that's its best. Then nobody has to cook, nobody has to worry about it. We just get there. And I think we should really hire a minibus and then we can get completely Stocious on it and enjoy. That's Expe Alley, Stocious. And really have a nice time and it could be absolutely wonderful. And I forget what I was going with that story, actually. I don't know why. I was just, I was sort of thinking about it. Oh, that's why. My ultimate fantasy would be to bring in, uh, an orchestra and a choir, a huge choir. And so when everybody's eaten and we then go outside, we've got a bit of a surprise and to go out there and somebody's got a snow machine. And I'm sure they must exist, a snow machine where you put water in and it freezes it and then sends it out of snow. And then, and that's going behind the choir. Otherwise, we don't want to say they're getting wet or anything like that. And then the choir and then a big orchestra. And it's got to be a big orchestra. It's got to be at least, at least 40 people in the orchestra. And that's what I want have to bring down as well. Only boys allowed from Wales because we've supported them for a long time. And just make it such... And then at the end everybody has mulled wine and mince pies with cream. If had enough money. I need to win the lottery before any of this happens. But that's what I'd love to do. I would love to do it. I always wanted to do it for one of our live shows because the theatre that we used at the bottom of Fleet Street, the Mermaid Theatre, has got the biggest stage I've ever seen. It goes back. You could put a choir of 200 on there, easy. You could drive cars onto it. It's enormous. I think the BBC use it for

Friday night is music night or something like that. Anyway, it's lovely. And it'd be nice to get it again. And I always thought it'd be lovely to do the one-man show. We always used to have, Graham P. Jolly was a very, very good mind reader. And he used to come and do the first bit of the than I did the second bit and people loved him because he's absolutely what you want to hear

absolutely what you want to hear absolutely what you want to

hear and um and then we could have that and then the curtains would open and there would be an orchestra

and only boys allowed and I thought that would be fantastic I thought that would just be brilliant

if I had enough money to do it that would be a nice thing to do. Nice thing to do. Anyway, it's a pipe dream, ladies and gentlemen. It doesn't really matter. It doesn't really matter anymore, does it? Nobody really cares. But somebody says, I tell everybody about your show, which is Chris. They think I'm mad getting up so early to listen to you, but a guaranteed laugh every day.

Listen, that's what radio is about. That's why this programme is very successful. There's a few negative people, but we just block them anyway, so it doesn't matter. They only get the chance to do anything once, then we just block them, make them go and buy another telephone. And that's why it works. It works because it's not somebody preaching to you, it's somebody telling you about their life and the things they get up to. I've still got that mad woman in Twickenham. She's completely barking. I think actually I'm going to take a picture of her if she appears anywhere today and I'm going to have to report her to the police. She's becoming a bit of a stalker. We don't like that kind of thing. So that's what it's about. It's not about, you know, somebody telling you exactly what should happen. It's just coming up with some good old common sense arguments about things and working out together. So at Christmas time, we get the most cards on this program. We get the most Christmas cards. We get the most things because people are nice, because people want to be nice. And's what it's all about. Chessington Garden Centre Light says Tracy, you're amazing. And the Christmas grotto is one of the best I've ever seen. That's what I like. You see, I like things like that. It doesn't cost anything. I don't care actually if people don't, don't like Christmas. I don't care if people don't like Christianity. I don't care, you know, if people don't, you know, don't like all sorts of things about life. I couldn't care less. You know, life's a bit too short as people discover. And I hope that my friend Paul Cooper gets some good news today. They're expecting to get the results of some tests on a family member, so I'm hoping that it's all good news.

Hoping it's all good news.

Anyway, where do we go with the celebrities this morning?

Where do we go?

Ed Sheeran facing a £20 million lawsuit over Me Before You soundtrack that is a note for note,

a copy of a third single released by Matt Cardle.

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