This is the 10% Happier Podcast. I'm Dan Harris.

Hello, gang. As somebody whose career revolves around the study of human happiness and flourishing, I am continuously struck by this fact. We know from all the evidence that one of, if not the most important variables, when it comes to mental health and physical health is the quality of your

relationships. We know this. And yet, very few of us are actually taught any form of what I like to

call interpersonal hygiene when it comes to our romantic relationships, our work relationships,

our friendships, and beyond. We're just kind of left to figure it out on our own to muddle through. And so today we're

going to talk to an excellent guest, a frequent flyer here, about some strategies from the

psychological research, so some evidence-based strategies to improve your interpersonal hygiene.

Shankar Vedantam is the host of the Hidden Brain podcast. It's also a radio show.

And on the show, he explores the hidden patterns that drive human behavior.

Shankar is also the author of several books, including The Hidden Brain and Useful Delusions.

He's also somebody I've met and talked to many times, and I like a lot.

In this conversation, we talk about how to stop trying to change

your romantic partners, useful tools for dealing with conflict, the challenging practice of

eating the blame, i.e. voluntarily taking responsibility in a conflict. This needs to be done

judiciously, as you will hear Schunker describe, how to manage a breakup of any

kind, romantic, friendship, work relationship, the real secret to finding closure, the value of

micro interactions, fleeting daily interactions with strangers, and much more.

Before we dive in, a heads up that today is the first day of a five-day meditation challenge that we're running over on my new meditation app, 10% with Dan Harris.

The challenge is called Even You Can Meditate.

And every day it features a new guided meditation from the great teacher and my great friend, Sebenace Salasi.

And then twice during the course of the five-day

challenge, we're going to do live video sessions where you can ask me and Seb questions. This challenge

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