You're listening to the Allender Center podcast with Dr. Dan Allender. This week, Dan and his wife, Becky Allender, continue their discussion about the painful journey of grieving the death of a parent. A conversation sparked by their own experience of processing the death of Dan's mother just a few weeks ago.

Dan and Becky discussed the love, care, and support they have received from others in times of grief,

inviting us to consider how we might be present in the lives of friends or loved ones who endure significant loss.

Well, my love, we're going to step back in and come to some conclusion as to a few of the things that people can bring to those who are in the midst of being bereaved. But just any of the

thoughts that you have from where we left off?

Well, I was thinking of when we walked into her room, and I've been quite a few months since I had

seen her, but she was covered up under a thin white blanket, and so really only her neck and

her face was exposed but um it was just so aware of

how small she was i i would predict she was probably like 70 pounds 75 pounds she was

childlike stature anyways when she was um full-bodied and well.

But when it was my turn to speak to her and proclaim to her who she had been to me and what I was

thankful for, it was so clear, even though death is horrific it is so contrary to the original plan of human

beings it's it's horrific and to be in the presence of someone dying has that horror and it's not a pretty picture, but to bless her because she was beautiful.

In even that space, I told her she was beautiful, and even at that time her skin was beautiful her skin was always important to her

she never would go in the sunshine she she just you know and so even in that to bless her uh was

something that seemed right to do and not something I had to conjure up.

Well, there's something of the intersection of that which is just utterly other than what we were meant to

to endure. Death is an abomination. And yet it's also the context of such holy moments.

I mean, some of those moments are so precious to me that they are some of the most

important moments that I have spent with my mother, being able to have my hand on her head,

to be able to speak to her.

At one point, again, it may sound odd, but I leaned close to her face and I just said,

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