Hey everybody. Hey hey. Thanks for fighting the horrible war

war.

That's what I call you guys. As you know you're sitting in the UCB

theatre in Los Angeles waiting for tonight's comedy death ray and you had to get out of the nice warm outside

to be in here, blah, blah, blah.

Well, I can't read my own writing sometimes,

so that makes for a fun opening of the show.

Oh, TMX22X, or is it ZZX?

I don't know, but this guy from Twitter,

his name is TMXZZX.

He wrote to me on Twitter,

thanks for making I love movies.

I listened to it at work while I make pipes.

To which I wondered to myself,

hmm, corn cob or mere sham.

And I bet you neither.

I bet you the answer is neither.

All right.

I think I said everything I meant to say,

so let's get to the guests.

My guests tonight are the Ebony and Ivory

of Stand Up Comics,

...