Hi everybody.

This short segment is what we call for the good of the order.

It's something we used to do at the end of my sorority meetings, if you can believe that,

where someone would share something that they came across in the course of the week, a poem, a song lyric, a short story, that they found enormously helpful as they went about daily life.

And I wanted to pick up the thread because I am so often wowed by something I see in the world

that I want to bring back and hand off to you.

So every Friday we produce a short segment called for the good of the order.

Think of it like an audio greeting card, a thing to share with the people that you love around the country

who you don't get to see or talk to enough. A thing to discuss with the people you do see and talk to

on a more regular basis.

This is Kelly Corrigan Wonders for the good of the order. This This week's go-to is about fighting nicely with the people we love the most.

I'm pulling here from a new book by Julie and John Gottman.

They are both PhDs.

They have been researching human relationships for 40 years.

They have been writing loads of books and they do a lot of clinical work with couples.

The other thing to say about Julie and John Gottman is that they have created this thing called the

Love Lab where people go out to see them and they interact with each other while

Julie and John track every conceivable measurement of that interaction to try to

give them advice about how to disagree better.

There were so many sections I could have pulled from their new book. It's called

Fight Right how successful couples turn conflict into connection, but I pulled this one because

it's super specific and therefore maybe more memorable.

...