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How To Do Everything

Goodnight Goose

How To Do Everything

NPR

4.21.5K Ratings

🗓️ 18 December 2015

⏱️ 28 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

How to deter thieves, tell a bedtime story, hum a song, and find sunken treasure.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

My friend Eva, Eva,

0:05.0

mailed me a Christmas present and it was stolen from the vestibule where I live.

0:12.0

This can happen really to anyone,

0:14.0

even if it's not Eva sending the present.

0:16.3

If you're a thief, this is a great time of year

0:17.9

to be stealing presents.

0:18.9

If you're not a thief, there is a way

0:21.1

to get back at the thieves.

0:23.0

Errik Burdo here has a tip.

0:25.0

Yeah, I think it's an easy way to deter them.

0:31.0

I just cleaned up my dog's poop and put it in the box and set it out there.

0:37.0

Sure enough they can't have got it.

0:40.0

So had you you had had packages taken and you felt like I have to get these guys?

0:45.0

Yeah, I hate these.

0:48.0

I hate them so much.

0:50.0

Yeah.

0:51.0

So what kind of package did you put the dog poop in?

0:54.5

It was a UPS or the USPS.

1:00.0

Yeah, USPS package.

1:01.4

And did you, so did you take the time to sort of tape it up and make it look like it was freshly delivered?

1:07.0

Yeah, I wrote fake addresses on it and I tape it up and everything.

1:11.0

And did you gift wrap the poop inside the UPS box?

...

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