Thanksgiving, Independence Day, Memorial Day.

Holidays are a great time to riddle Americans with needless oppressive guilt.

But the one that stands head and shoulders above the rest is Columbus Day.

Today, we're progressives and doctrinate your children into believing Columbus to be Satan incarnate,

the USA to be his evil spawn and the Native Americans to be pacifists.

And so now, we have Indigenous Peoples Day,

or as it would have been named 30 years ago, Aboriginal's Day,

or as it would have been named 10 or 15 years ago, Native Americans Day,

or as it could be named tomorrow in Canada, first nation peoples day,

feeling the urge to self-inflict grievous bodily harm yet.

That's only natural because the whole charade has become an exercise

in hating Western civilization, which is really just an exercise in hating yourself.

First, as far as Columbus goes, the guy deserves some credit,

right? flawed, to be sure.

But he was the greatest navigator of his age,

the first person across the Atlantic from the continent of Europe,

and he did so without any maps, and only three small ships.

If you can name them by the way, comment below as I'm sure your professor can't.

But your professor probably has taught you the tale of Columbus as a villain,

usually as a starting off point to indict the United States as a whole,

often relying on a few key myths and some pivotal lies by omission.

So, to start with, I'll bet that you probably believe Columbus and other European settlers

...