We make money the old-fashioned way.

We chemically convert lead into gold.

Good morning, Nightvale audience. Good morning, Nightvelle audience. Someone who is confused and accidentally downloaded this, my name is Meg Bashmner,

and I should never be tech support. My name is Hal Lublin, and I probably should not be your

diet coach. And hi, I'm Symphony Sanders, and I'm super into crypto.

Tell us about the blockchain. Forget the episode. Blockchain, but NFTs, whatever. I don't know. I don't know what any of that means. Anyways. But in actuality, we are all actors for the hit popular podcast. Welcome to Night Vale. And we are here painstakingly going through each and every episode to dissect and use our expertise in this field to talk about each episode of Nightvale, a show that we all know and love, because we're fun, and that's what we do for a living.

And today is Thursday, January 27th in the year of our spaghetti monster, 2022. Duce, deuce, baby. And it is currently 8.21 p.m. Central time. And this is episode 103, Ash Beach, and here is the original episode description.

After a dozen years of restoration, Ash Beach has reopened.

Let's talk about it.

Let's talk about it.

So, Ash Beach, knowing that we're all, you know, in a desert and whatnot, right?

Mm-hmm.

We know there's no water there, but they have a beach.

But all the visuals for it are like, kind of like post-apocalyptic or like, what is that?

I don't know that, like, propaganda from like the time when time when, like, the nuclear arms race was, like, really strong.

Yeah.

Yeah, it's like a duck and cover and shit.

Yeah, a post-apocalyptic kind of.

Yeah.

Like, a wasteland.

Yeah.

Like, it's a wasteland.

...