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Hacking Your ADHD

Give Yourself Some Slack: Perfectly Imperfect

Hacking Your ADHD

William Curb

Mental Health, Health & Fitness

4.8702 Ratings

🗓️ 5 October 2020

⏱️ 20 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

One of the reasons that many of us have trouble giving ourselves slack is because of our internalized perfectionism - it's something that controls our workflow and prevents us from ever taking a break because in our head we know we could be doing more. Even during the writing of this episode I had to fight off some of this internal perfectionism - this episode wasn't supposed to be entirely about perfectionism, but it was going to take a lot more than just one section to really tackle the topic - so now what was just going to be a two-part episode on giving yourself some slack is a series - and had I come into this knowing it was going to be a series I would have definitely approached it differently, but that's okay, it doesn't have to be perfect.

In today's episode, we're going to be exploring the idea of how perfection acts as a coping mechanism - and why that's not a great thing. We'll also be looking at some of the different types of perfectionism and then we'll be exploring some of the ways that we can start to work on conquering our own perfectionism.

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Find the show note at HackingYourADHD.com/perfectlyimperfect

This Episode's Top Tips

  1. Many of us with ADHD have picked up perfectionism as a coping mechanism to try and deal with the mistakes that have come from us having ADHD - however, perfectionism is a maladaptive coping mechanism that often leads to more problems than it solves
  2. There are three types of perfectionism - self-oriented perfectionism, other-oriented perfectionism and socially-prescribed perfectionism.
  3. The first step in dealing with our perfectionism is understanding that our perfectionist expectations of ourselves are unrealistic and that having those unrealistic expectations is unhealthy - if we can relax those standards we will often save time, effort, and stress.
  4. Practice Imperfection by choosing small tasks that you can be imperfect at, such as using multiple colors of pens (without a pattern), not correcting typos in texts to friends or even something like wearing mismatched socks (I mean as long as they're the same kind - I just mean two socks with different colors or patterns not like wool socks and cotton socks, I'm not a monster).
  5. Look for feedback before you're 100% done with a project - try out asking for feedback at 30% and 90% and be sure to be specific about the type of feedback you're looking for at each point.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

This is an ad by BetterHelp.

0:01.8

Think about the people who inspire you most.

0:04.6

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0:05.3

They don't have all the answers.

0:07.4

But they do know how to ask for support when they need it.

0:11.0

Therapy is a great way to find that support.

0:14.0

Better Help has experienced therapists,

0:16.5

ready to help you with challenges ranging from clinical issues

0:19.7

to the stress of everyday life.

0:21.7

And it's convenient too. Visit BetterHelphelp.com slash new direction today to get 10%

0:28.9

off your first month.

0:32.6

Welcome to Hacking Your ADHD, part of the ADHD Rewired podcast network. I'm your host, William Kerb,

0:40.0

and I have ADHD. On this podcast, I dig into the tools, tactics, and best practices to help you

0:45.5

work with your ADHD brain. One of the reasons that many of us have trouble giving ourselves slack

0:50.9

is because of our internalized perfectionism. It's something that controls

0:54.7

our workflow and prevents us from ever taking a break because in our head, we know we could be doing

1:00.0

more. Even during the writing of this episode, I had to fight off some of this internal perfectionism.

1:05.0

This episode wasn't supposed to be entirely about perfectionism, but it turned out it was going

1:09.6

to take a lot more than just one section to really tackle the topic.

1:12.6

So now what was just going to be a two-part episode on giving yourself some slack is a series.

1:17.6

And had I come into this knowing that it was going to be a series, I would have definitely tried to approach it differently.

1:22.6

But that's okay. It doesn't have to be perfect. In today's episode, we're going to be exploring the idea of how

...

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