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Girls Night with Stephanie May Wilson

Girls Night #268: How to Set Boundaries (Before Everyone Else Sets Them for You!) — with Dr. Sasha Shillcutt

Girls Night with Stephanie May Wilson

Stephanie May Wilson

Self-improvement, Education, Relationships, Society & Culture, How To

4.94K Ratings

🗓️ 9 September 2024

⏱️ 57 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Hey friends! Welcome to Girls’ Night! ​ Today, we’re revisiting a conversation I had with my friend, Dr. Sasha Shillcutt, on setting boundaries. ​ If you’ve been a Girls Night listener for a while now, this isn’t the first time you’re hearing me talk about boundaries. And it’s because this has been a HUGE lesson for me. ​ I am historically bad at knowing what I want and what I need — at drawing lines and saying no. ​ And for the longest time, I was okay with that. (Maybe even a little bit proud of it?) ​ I like being helpful. I like being needed. I like feeling useful, capable, and strong. ​ For years I thought that this was the best way to love the people I love: To always put their needs above my needs, to say yes to everything, to give but never take, and to have everything that’s mine be theirs without limit — whether it was my stuff, my space, my time, or my energy. ​ This is what I thought would lead to the healthiest, closest relationships. But over the last few years I’ve learned that the opposite is true. ​ Boundaries are an absolutely essential part of healthy relationships. They’re an essential part of a healthy life, of a healthy US. ​ And that’s what we’re talking about here today. ​ Our guest, Dr. Sasha Shillcutt, is a renowned cardiac anesthesiologist, professor, bestselling author and CEO and Founder of Brave Enough. Sasha is also a wife and a mother who has walked through seasons of loneliness, anxiety, and complete burnout. Needless to say, she has had to learn about boundaries the HARD way. ​ She wrote a book called, Brave Boundaries: Strategies to Say No, Stand Strong and Take Control of Your Time where she helps us find the courage to implement boundaries in our own life. ​ Here are just a few of the things she’s going to teach us in this episode: ​ How to take a personal boundary inventory and identify what boundaries we need ​ Why saying no to others and yes to ourselves isn’t selfish and can actually help us be a better version of ourselves (and love our people better!) ​ How to kindly respond to someone if we receive backlash for the boundary we’ve set ​ And so much more! ​ ​ One of my favorite things that Sasha says in the episode was, "The world will set your boundaries if you don't set them for yourself” and that couldn't be more true. ​ Friends, if you’re feeling anxious, burned out, or overwhelmed in life right now, this episode is for you! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey friend, welcome to Girls Night, where we work through life's biggest decisions and transitions together.

0:10.0

I'm your host, Stephanie May Wilson, and I am so glad you're here.

0:14.0

Let's get started.

0:16.0

So today we're revisiting a conversation I had with my friend Dr. Sasha Chopette on setting boundaries.

0:22.0

If you've been a girls night listener for a while now, She'll pet on setting boundaries.

0:22.9

If you've been a girls night listener for a while now,

0:24.9

this is not the first time you're hearing me

0:26.9

talk about boundaries.

0:28.4

And it's because this has been a huge lesson for me.

0:32.0

I am historically really bad at knowing what I want and what I need and at

0:37.6

drawing lines and saying no. And for the longest time I was okay with that, maybe even a little bit proud of it I like

0:44.5

being helpful I like being needed I like feeling useful and capable and strong and

0:49.6

for years I thought that this was the best way to love the people I love,

0:54.0

to always put their needs above my needs, to say yes to everything, to give but never take,

0:59.2

to have everything that's mine be theirs without limit,

1:02.4

whether it was my stuff, my space, my time, or my energy. everything that's mine be theirs without limit,

1:02.5

whether it was my stuff, my space, my time, or my energy.

1:06.4

This is what I thought would lead to the healthiest, closest relationships.

1:10.7

But over the last handful of years, I've learned that actually the opposite is true.

1:16.0

Boundaries are an absolutely essential part of healthy relationships.

1:20.0

They're an essential part of a healthy life, of healthy us and that's what we're talking about today.

1:26.0

Our guest Dr. Sasha Shilcutt is a renowned cardiac anesthesiologist, a professor, a best-selling author, and CEO and founder of Brave Enough.

...

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