Girls Night #165: How to stop being a people pleaser (and create healthy boundaries!) with Blake Blankenbecler

Girls Night with Stephanie May Wilson

Stephanie May Wilson

Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Relationships, Mental Health

4.9 • 4K Ratings

🗓️ 4 July 2022

⏱️ 65 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Hey friends! Welcome to Girls Night! A few summers ago — the summer of 2018, to be exact — was one of the toughest, darkest, saddest, most difficult times of my whole entire life. I found myself in an absolute tailspin of anxiety and depression. And as the anniversary of this season rolls around each year, I always find myself remembering with striking clarity how it all felt. As the weather grows warmer and summer sets in, I always feel a fresh wave of gratitude for the fact that I'm not stuck in that dark place anymore. And I tear up every single time I think of the women who carried me through it. Our guest for today’s episode is my former therapist — the one who walked me through that dark season in 2018 and so much more — Blake Blankenbecler. And today I’ve invited her on the show to talk about people-pleasing. People-pleasing and how to set boundaries are things she and I talked about a LOT during the years I was seeing her. And I cannot even begin to tell you how much freedom I was able to step into as a result. Friends, if you’re a people-pleaser, if you have a hard time saying no, feel guilty for setting boundaries, worry constantly about how other people are perceiving you, and often feel resentful because you feel so depleted from it all — this episode is for you. (Quick disclaimer here: Confidentiality is something that is taken really seriously when it comes to counseling and therapy. And so it’s pretty unconventional for me to be introducing you to my counselors — both former and current — and for us to be sharing some of what we’ve talked about in our sessions. I just wanted to let you know that we’ve had all of the conversations and signed all the necessary paperwork when it comes to the ethics of having them on the show — especially with my current therapist who you’ll meet next week — we’ve done all the work to make sure to protect my privacy, the work we’ve done together, and the integrity of our therapeutic relationship. Just wanted to make sure to say that.) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey friends, welcome to Girls Night. I'm Stephanie May Wilson and I'm so happy that you're here.
0:10.4	Each week I have a girlfriend over and we talk through one of the biggest questions we have
0:13.8	about our lives as women. We're talking about friendships and faith and relationships
0:18.6	and self-confidence. About our calling in life and how to live every bit of our lives to the full.
0:24.1	Life is so much better and easier and absolutely more fun when we navigate it together as
0:28.4	girlfriends and I cannot wait to get started. So today's episode requires a bit of backstory but
0:34.4	I promise it'll all make way more sense once you hear the context. So a few summers ago, the summer
0:40.2	of 2018 to be exact was one of the toughest, darkest, saddest, most difficult times of my whole
0:47.0	entire life. I found myself in an absolute tailspin of anxiety and depression and as an anniversary
0:53.2	of this season rolls around every year, I always find myself remembering with just total clarity
0:58.2	how it all felt. As a weather gets warmer and summer sets in, I always feel this
1:03.1	fresh wave of gratitude for the fact that I'm not stuck in that dark place anymore.
1:07.2	And I tear up every single time I think of the women who carried me through it.
1:11.3	I also take this time each year to check in with myself. It's a time when I check in on how I'm
1:15.6	doing and when I try to get really quiet and listen to the answer. It's my own personal mental
1:20.9	health awareness time and next week I want to invite you to join me in it. Next week we're
1:26.1	going to do two things in our little corner of the internet. Number one, I'm going to tell you
1:29.9	the full story of what happened that summer. Side note here, make sure you're on my email list
1:34.8	because that's where I'm going to be sharing this story. You can sign up for that on my website
1:38.2	it's definitelymaywelstein.com. But I'm going to tell you the full story of my mental health journey
1:43.2	and I want to do this because I have a feeling that someone in our community is struggling right now
1:47.2	and needs to hear that she's not alone in this. Then number two, after I tell you what happened,
	...

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