It's the only area that I ever ask, God, where are you? I could be in my own wilderness for 20 years. I could have the worst things happen to me. And I will always be like, no, I know he's in it. This is the one area where it's just like, it's so scary and it's so hopeless. And it's an area of like, you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped how do you save somebody who doesn't

want to be saved we have free will if somebody doesn't accept jesus what is the answer it's not even

that they don't want to get saved is that they're sick they're so they don't have the capacity to

understand it and that's i think the journey that we're both going on of trying to understand we know

that you have to want it and

you have a decision but what do you do when somebody so mentally ill and that is my conversation

with god every single day i am always like if i take scripture at face value how you leave the

99 for the one and you came for not the righteous but but the ones who are sick and who need a doctor.

If that is the truth, and I know that it is, that means when you were dying on the cross who are too sick and too unstable to receive you, you had them in mind.

Like, you had a plan for them.

Jesus is not making us jump through hoops to try and get to him. But what about if people don't have the mental capacity to receive salvation? Like, there has to be a plan for them. There has to be a plan. That is the battle that I face every single day of looking up at God and being like, I know that you have a plan. Like, you have to. You have to. You are so good. You're so kind.

But there are moments that are so utterly hopeless that like, it's just so hard. This is the real

stuff. This is the stuff that is like really scary. And it's not the glamorous Christianity that like,

you know, a good word and encouraging word can fix. Like this is real life, scary stuff where darkness seems to

rain and win. And I know that ultimately, that is not the conclusion to all of this. I heard a

pastor talk about it. It's like final hope versus immediate hope. And our immediate hope is being on

earth and having a relationship with Jesus. And he is our hope. He gives us immediate

peace, immediate healing, immediate freedom, immediate answered prayers. But that's not always the case.

And there are some prayers that we may never see answered on this side of eternity. So there might be

our final hope in Jesus where in heaven there is no more mourning, there is no more tears and

our physical bodies and the things that we go through on earth will be ultimately redeemed in heaven.