Hello and welcome to the Story Grid podcast. This is a show dedicated to helping you become a better writer.

I'm your host Tim Grawl and I am a struggling writer trying to figure out how to tell a story that works.

Joining me shortly as Sean Coyne. He is the creator of Story Grid, the author of the book Story Grid,

and an editor with over 25 years experience.

In this episode, well, we keep looking at my rewrites. I figure at some point all of you

are going to get tired of this, but you keep listening, and so we just keep diving deeper into

the book. So we go over another rewrite of the same scene and we also dive into just some bigger

questions I have about how to rewrite these scenes correctly, how to do it the right way maybe on

the third time. And we talk about also just laying out the rest of the beginning hook. So I hope

you enjoy it. Let's jump in and get started. So Sean, I went back into my little

writing hole and took this scene and rewrote it with your feedback and actually ended up

expanding into two scenes. And before you kind of give me your feedback, I wanted to tell you what

I was thinking through it. So the first

scene was the one where you, you know, it started off like two or three drafts ago as like

them sitting and having coffee in 83 just telling Jesse how the world was different. Right.

And then you talked about, okay, let's make it action oriented. So I did that

where they're going out into the world and you actually see the world as she's learning about it.

But when I wrote it that way, I kind of got to the end of the scene and it just fizzled out

because I couldn't figure out where I was going. So we talked about ending it and, you know,

we could have ended it moving from uninformed to inform, but we decided to do safe to unsafe.

And so that's where, you know, the plug comes undone and the old lady, like, wakes up in the bed and attacks Jesse.

And so I ended it with a cliffhanger.

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