4.7 • 5.1K Ratings
🗓️ 2 October 2018
⏱️ 49 minutes
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After 15 years of vegetarianism, I've begun exclusively eating animals because I've realized animals are complete losers. They are just evolutionary tangents that were meant to be human but took a wrong turn somewhere a few million years ago and ended up stuck with no arms and a hammerhead. Might as well eat them. They're just fancy plants AKA "flants."
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0:00.0 | I'm on that meat diet everyone's talking about kind of socks. |
0:07.0 | I mean my wife usually makes my meals and now I gotta worry about my dinners now |
0:16.6 | and I'm not a very good cook so you're eating a lot of gross stuff like I |
0:22.1 | went to a salsa fresca this burrito joint sort of like Chipotle more |
0:30.3 | environmentally friendly and I go I'll just get shredded beef chicken I figured |
0:36.3 | the the pita they wrap it in I know you're not supposed to eat that but whatever |
0:39.0 | shredded beef chicken and cheese and mayo because the meat diets only stuff |
0:47.0 | from animals right so you can have cheese dairy yogurt whatever and it was |
0:52.0 | one of the most disgusting things I've ever eaten it was like eating guts like |
0:56.8 | in normal burritos the guacamole and the lettuce and all that other stuff it's |
1:01.6 | sort of breaks it up but when you're just eating slime meat slime I mean you |
1:07.8 | feel like a fucking hyena and then the lunch I just made myself was two |
1:14.2 | sliders which were pretty good and an egg and cheese it's really taken the joy |
1:21.7 | out of everything I got a funny feeling that none of these diets really work |
1:25.6 | what works is the fact that you're on a diet like if you only ate stuff to |
1:32.8 | start with the letter B you'd be shopping differently oh I can eat this bun |
1:38.6 | and I bet you would lose weight that way too you're just conscious of what |
1:42.6 | you're eating as opposed to just stuffing your face whenever you want which is |
1:45.0 | why you put on weight when you go when you go on vacation because you're just |
1:50.0 | stuffing your face whenever you can't and you're with kids that don't eat and |
1:55.3 | you're eating their stupid fries that they ordered even though they don't want |
1:58.0 | them so that might be it by the way I'm not I'm on a diet because I want to have a |
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