Alright, I'm gonna tell you how to have the perfect life.

I'm not saying I'm the master at it by any means, but I do know.

This is more as a do as I say not as I do think and learn from my mistakes.

But let's start with being born. How to be born.

You're gonna want to resist. Don't. It's not that bad. It's cold.

It's it's disarming, but you get to breathe for the first time ever with lungs.

So that's cool, no more swimming. And you're gonna start to see color.

And you got to understand when you're born, you're not really born.

You see babies come out one trimester early and they have to come out because we have such big heads.

But a horse, when he comes out, he's ready to rock.

He just starts walking down the street. That was fun.

We come out too early, which is why a lot of tribes and more primitive cultures,

and this is an primitive thing to do, will wear a papus and they'll always have their baby with

them at all times because you kind of are still pregnant. And that's why, by the way, when you're

holding a baby and you're trying to keep them from crying, you go, you sort of move around like

side to side bouncing, right? Just like that it was in the womb and you go,

that's the sound of the blood, the circulation that they'd hear when they were in the womb.

So the way you get a baby to stop freaking out is to simulate the womb.

And that's for the first, that's like the first four months of their life, I think.

I can't really remember. I remember the first seven weeks suck when you have a baby.

So give up on sleep for seven weeks. Give up on having any kind of sanity for seven weeks.

Although when your wife is breastfeeding and the baby wakes up crying, you're sort of like,

...